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Think about your last negotiations. How much time did you spend on the negotiations? Would you prepare differently if you did it again?

Think about your last negotiations. How much time did you spend on the negotiations? Would you prepare differently if you did it again? 2aaDM
I often have to do a lot of negotiating at school about team ideas. When you do team work, you will find that there are a lot of views on a topic or a problem among the members. A few months ago, I had an activity with my team in skillful class. Our work was to plan ideas for volunteering. In my opinion, it would be so great if we could have a volunteer class for poor children, because I have a love for children, especially poor ones. My member team, on the other hand, objected to my plan. They thought it was unavailable because we could not teach without experience and an appropriate place. We spent around a week trying to come up with a final decision that was to give some small presents to the poor and homeless people. During the volunteer activity, we had a lot of feelings of being moved and happy moments. Everything happens smoothly. But if I could do that negotiation again, I would try to defend my plan to help the poor children learn some basic knowledge. Maybe it could help them a little bit when they grow up.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
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a lot of
negotiating at school about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. When you do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
work, you will find that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
views on a topic or a problem among the members. A few months ago, I had an activity with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in skillful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Our work was to plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for volunteering. In my opinion, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
great if we could have a volunteer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for children,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
ones. My member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
,
on the other hand
, objected to my plan. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was unavailable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we could not teach without experience and an appropriate place. We spent around a week trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a final decision that was to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
presents to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. During the volunteer activity, we had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
feelings of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
 and happy moments. Everything happens
smoothly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if I could do that negotiation again, I would try to defend my plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
children learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic knowledge. Maybe it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
when they grow up.

IELTS essay Think about your last negotiations. How much time did you spend on the negotiations? Would you prepare differently if you did it again?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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