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Think about the first time you arrived in a new country or new city. It could be a special trip you took for few days or an extended experience for education or living purpose. Describe your first visit to a new country or new city.

Think about the first time you arrived in a new country or new city. It could be a special trip you took for few days or an extended experience for education or living purpose. Describe your first visit to a new country or new city. m13lr
It happened last March 27, 2018 when I travelled with my friends to Ohio, Usa for my summer work and travel and at the same time my on the job training. It was a 3 months sojourn in Sandusky, Ohio and this trip really changed my life. I could never forget how elated I am when we arrived in Cleveland safely after a long flight. The exhilarating feeling when finally, I saw those huge buildings in the city of Cleveland. The cold weather and even those melted snow on the side of the streets. It was my first time to experience winter season that’s why I felt excited since I grew up in a tropical country. I was also grateful that time because there are people who are really kind and they really helped and guide us to reach our destination safely. Since our apartment was provided by the company that we’d worked on, it was easy for us to settle and adjust. I worked as a Sales Associate Merchandiser in Cedar Point Amusement Park and my job was enjoyable because it was related to Business Marketing course which I studied back then. I learned a lot from my supervisor and I also met a lot of friends from different countries. We shared about our cultures, language and about our home countries which was fascinating. My expectations were far from what I saw and experienced. I expected to live in a place like New York City where I am surrounded by massive buildings, noises from the vehicles, the beauty of city lights in the evening and the busy streets which I usually saw in the Hollywood movies but it was really far from what I expected. Sandusky is a peaceful place where it is surrounded by nature and a lake called Erie. This place is beautiful as I was always astonished by the Sunset in Lake Erie were the lake turned gold as the sun reflected the water. My friends and I called it a golden time. The sound of the birds and how the huge trees danced as the wind blows was refreshing. How free the adorable wild rabbit and ducks amazed me the most because you can see them walking freely on the side of the lake even on their parks. I was amazed because I only saw rabbits inside the caged in my country and this experience made me happy. My decision to join the summer work and travel was quite hard for me since it was my first time to be far from my family, to get out of my comfort zone and to live in a new unfamiliar place but it was the best decision I’ve ever had. In a short period of time, I’ve learned a lot of things; I’ve met new people and made new friendship that I will treasure forever. The memories and struggles that I experienced from this trip sculpted me to be a better person. That’s why among my first visits, I chose to describe and share my experience about this trip because it the most memorable one for me.
It happened last March 27,
Some style guides suggest that commas should set off the year in a month-day-year date: "2018,".
2018
when I travelled with my friends to Ohio,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Usa
for my summer work and travel and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
my on the job training. It was a 3 months sojourn in Sandusky, Ohio and this trip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my life. I could never forget how elated I am when we arrived in Cleveland
safely
after a long flight. The exhilarating feeling when
finally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
those huge buildings in the city of Cleveland. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather and even those melted snow on the side of the streets. It was my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to experience winter season that’s why I felt excited since I grew up in a tropical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I was
also
grateful that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kind and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
and guide us to reach our destination
safely
.

Since our apartment
was provided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that we’d worked on, it was easy for us to settle and adjust. I worked as a Sales Associate Merchandiser in Cedar Point Amusement Park and my job was enjoyable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
was related
to Business Marketing course which I studied back then. I learned a lot from my supervisor and I
also
met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
friends from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. We shared about our cultures, language and about our home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which was fascinating.

My expectations were far from what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
and experienced. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York City where I
am surrounded
by massive buildings, noises from the vehicles, the beauty of city lights in the evening and the busy streets which I
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
in the Hollywood movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
far from what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. Sandusky is a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where it
is surrounded
by nature and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
called Erie. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
as I was always astonished by the Sunset in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lake
Erie were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
turned gold as the sun reflected the water. My friends and I called it a golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The sound of the birds and how the huge trees danced as the wind blows was refreshing. How free the adorable wild rabbit and ducks amazed me the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them walking
freely
on the side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
even on their parks. I
was amazed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
rabbits inside the caged in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and this experience made me happy. My decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the summer work and travel was quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me since it was my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be far from my family, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of my comfort zone and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
unfamiliar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was the best decision I’ve ever had.

In a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I’ve learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things; I’ve met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friendship that I will treasure forever. The memories and struggles that I experienced from this trip sculpted me to be a better person. That’s why among my
first
visits, I chose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
and share my experience about this trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it the most memorable one for me.
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IELTS essay Think about the first time you arrived in a new country or new city. It could be a special trip you took for few days or an extended experience for education or living purpose. Describe your first visit to a new country or new city.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
520 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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