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Some people believe that allowing children to make decisions on every day choices such as food, clothes, entertainment will result in a society of individuals who think only of themselves, others are of the opinion that decision should be made about issues which affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that allowing children to make decisions on every day choices such as food, clothes, entertainment will result in a society of individuals who think only of themselves, others are of the opinion that decision should be made about issues which affect them. NrljN
Certain individuals opine that granting children the liberty to make daily choices like food, clothings and entertainment would likely result in a society of selfish individuals. However, others believe that it is trivial to decide about matters affecting them. I believe, that parents should guide them in making important decisions. On the one hand, some individuals believe that giving children the freedom to make choices results in an environment of self centered people. Because, when children are allowed to have what they want, it makes them to request for more. Thus, they would want more clothes, food, and extra Leisure time, therefore they become selfish and do not think about emotions of others. To illustrate, a child who is always allowed to watch cartoons in the sitting room, may want to continue viewing his cartoons even when visitors are present and his parents decide to stop him from watching. On the other hand, others opine that it is necessary to decide for children. If decisions are made for them, it aids them to make right choices and avoid been influenced by peers. For instance, a child may want an item his friends have, but his family can not afford them. Hence, he will be counselled on the need of been contented. Furthermore, in my opinion children should be guided to make important decisions. If choices are to be made about career, it is important to guide them so they don't make choices that can be detrimental to their future. Therefore, from childhood a child can be groomed into what his parents want him to be in future. For example, a survey of undergraduates in a law faculty revealed that most scholars choosed studying law and are satisfied because their parents prepared them for the role. In conclusion, I believe that parents should guide children in making decisions, although they can be allowed to make choices in less trivia issues, but they should be thought to respect feelings of others.
Certain individuals opine that granting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the liberty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
like food,
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothings
and entertainment would likely result in a society of selfish individuals.
However
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is trivial to decide about matters affecting them. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should guide them in making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
results in an environment of self centered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to have what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them to request for more.
Thus
, they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
more clothes, food, and extra Leisure time,
therefore
they become selfish and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about emotions of others.

To illustrate, a child who is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons in the sitting room, may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to continue viewing his cartoons even when visitors are present and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
him from watching.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others opine that it is necessary to decide for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If decisions
are made
for them, it aids them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
and avoid
been influenced
by peers.
For instance
, a child may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
an item his friends have,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his family can not afford them.
Hence
, he will
be counselled
on the need of
been contented
.

Furthermore
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be guided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
are to
be made
about career, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to guide them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
that can be detrimental to their future.
Therefore
, from childhood a child can
be groomed
into what his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
him to be
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
For example
, a survey of undergraduates in a law faculty revealed that most scholars
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
studying law and
are satisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
prepared them for the role.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in making decisions, although they can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun trivia is countable.
less
trivia issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to respect feelings of others.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make decisions on every day choices such as food, clothes, entertainment will result in a society of individuals who think only of themselves, others are of the opinion that decision should be made about issues which affect them.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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