Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Thieves among the young people

Thieves among the young people 75XDA
Lots of nations face the problems about increasing numbers of the juvenile people that are committing crimes. I will write triggers of these Dilemma and the ways to decide it. Every country has their own economic system. Some countries are wealthy, while other Nations are struggling to make money. Even though, all these countries have one common Issue. Rising count of young people, which are becoming thieves. One of the biggest cause of this problem is difficulties with money. Not every family has enough budget for good lifestyle, to take education and live without rejection. So, the lack of fee will lead to go to commit crimes, because these teens believe, that it is the easiest path to take cash Second reason why they do that is because some teenagers too are lazy to work. Work takes lots of time and effort, but it is only real way to earning. However, juveniles that are making thieves don’t even look to work’s side. They think: “Why do i have to work when i can make money faster? “ They totally forget about policemen that can catch them, or don’t have compassion about people that are working for make this budget.
Lots of nations face the problems about increasing numbers of the juvenile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are committing crimes. I will write triggers of these Dilemma and the ways to decide it.

Every country has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
economic system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries are wealthy, while other Nations are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.
Even though
, all these countries have one common Issue. Rising count of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which are becoming thieves. One of the biggest cause of this problem is difficulties with money. Not every family has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle, to take education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without rejection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the lack of fee will lead to go to commit crimes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these teens believe, that it is the easiest path to take cash

Second reason why they do
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
too are lazy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
takes lots of time and effort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
real way to earning.
However
, juveniles that are making thieves don’t even look to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work’s
side. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
: “Why do
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when
Did you mean "I"?
i
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money faster? “ They
totally
forget about policemen that can catch them, or don’t have compassion about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are working for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this budget.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Thieves among the young people

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts