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Important questions is that or not

Important questions is that or not MlOxL
In this contemporary era, after crossing certain age old people prefer to live with their similar age group masses in convalescent house where they can live peacefully, and under observation of nurses. This type of culture not only seen in foreign countries but it is also seen in India. While, government also contribute fund for care of old age people. I would like to shed light on my standable paragraphs before arriving at conclusion. To begin with, in this fast-forward life, people are in a rate race for earning money, in a such situation individuals do not have sufficient time for their family as well to take care of senior citizens. For instance, 9 to 5 job pattern has changed to 9 to 7 and people with Higher positions have to work for 9 to 9. After this hectic schedule, they do not have sufficient time to spend with their family. This vicious cycle goes on, even though they can not rejuvenate them self for next day. Futhermore, this is the prime reasons why people drop their parents to old age home for better live in. Moreover, there are other numerous other reasons to such as some time due to mental stress old people leave their house, and government has to pay certain amount to maintain old age house for whom, who need. In addition, these will not only spoil country's tradition but it will also generate bad influence for children. Indeed, old age masses consider to live in convalescent house owing to reason that, their children live separately, and their children have lack of time to take care of their parents. In addition, individual pay a hefty sum of the for old age house because fewer individual reckon that, their parents are their responsibility, however some old age house give free of cost for living. For example, recent survey by BBC, they revolved that 60% of elder people, who are fall into 70 - 80 age group they consider to live in old age house for better well being, a peaceful life and mainly for health purpose as they know in old age house there are ample of nurses and supervisors available to take care of them all the time. Since house is barren without grandparents so people should value elderly people. In contrast, old age people are not only responsibility of their family but it is responsibility of entire world. Thus, both the local and government should contribute but fund for old age house. To Sum up, old age people are crucial part of family, and taking care of them is necessary. Similarly, in old age house co-workers are always ready to take care of old age people. I Strongly believe that, old house maintenance is responsibility of whole world.
In this contemporary era, after crossing certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group masses in convalescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
peacefully
, and under observation of nurses. This type of culture not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in foreign countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in India. While,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
contribute fund for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I would like to shed light on my
Possible spelling mistake found.
standable
paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-forward life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a rate race for earning money, in a such situation individuals do not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of senior citizens.
For instance
, 9 to 5 job pattern has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to 9 to 7 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with Higher positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for 9 to 9. After this hectic schedule, they do not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This vicious cycle goes on,
even though
they can not rejuvenate them self for
next
day.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, this is the prime reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drop their parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
home for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in.
Moreover
, there are other numerous other reasons to such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay certain amount to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for whom, who need.
In addition
, these will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spoil country's tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
generate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence for children.

Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
masses consider to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in convalescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
owing to reason that, their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
, and their children have lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their parents.
In addition
, individual pay a hefty sum of the for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fewer individual reckon that, their parents are their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
give free of cost for living.
For example
, recent survey by BBC, they revolved that 60% of elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are fall into
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
70 - 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group they consider to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
, a peaceful life and
mainly
for health purpose as they know in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
there are ample of nurses and supervisors available to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is barren without grandparents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should value elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of entire world.
Thus
, both the local and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fund for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

To Sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are crucial part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them is necessary.
Similarly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
co-workers are always ready to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
Strongly
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
maintenance is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of whole world.
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IELTS essay Important questions is that or not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
462 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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