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They could only accept the situation or perhaps try to improve their position to obtain a better life.

They could only accept the situation or perhaps try to improve their position to obtain a better life. 0EaJG
Some bad conditions often occur in people’s lives. People experiencing it were faced with two options. They could only accept the situation or perhaps try to improve their position to obtain a better life. I strongly believe that people should try to improve their condition when facing an unwanted situation. Firstly, it is crucial for people to accept the situation they are currently facing. However, it needs to be followed by an action, unless it would not lead them anywhere. People who chose not to make an improvement tend to be stuck, or even worsen the problem they have gotten. Usually, the reason behind people who did not have the willingness to improve might be due to the lack of hope. They tend to be despairing even though it could be solved by seeking help or opportunities in order to live in a better condition. Improving the situation leads to a finding in solution. In the end, people who improve might have a higher chance to escape from the unfortunate condition and become successful as they have already learned from their past mistakes. They are not prone to making a wrong move and are most likely to have an ability to handle problems better than those who did not improve. All in all, people who improve their condition when facing difficult situations are the ones who succeed in life as they put more effort to defeat their own failure instead of just accepting and doing nothing when they face a bad condition.
Some
bad
conditions
often
occur in
people’s
lives
.
People
experiencing it
were faced
with two options. They could
only
accept the
situation
or perhaps try to
improve
their position to obtain a better life. I
strongly
believe that
people
should try to
improve
their
condition
when facing an unwanted situation.

Firstly
, it is crucial for
people
to accept the
situation
they are
currently
facing.
However
, it needs to
be followed
by an action, unless it would not lead them anywhere.
People
who
chose not to
make
an improvement tend to
be stuck
, or even worsen the problem they have gotten.
Usually
, the reason behind
people
who
did not have the willingness to
improve
might be due to the lack of hope. They tend to be despairing
even though
it could
be solved
by seeking
help
or opportunities in order to
live
in a better condition.

Improving the
situation
leads to a finding in solution. In the
end
,
people
who
improve
might have a higher chance to escape from the unfortunate
condition
and become successful as they have already learned from their past mistakes. They are not prone to making a
wrong
move
and are most likely to have an ability to handle problems better than those
who
did not
improve
.

All in all,
people
who
improve
their
condition
when facing difficult
situations
are the ones
who
succeed in life as they put more effort to defeat their
own
failure
instead
of
just
accepting and doing nothing when they face a
bad
condition
.
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IELTS essay They could only accept the situation or perhaps try to improve their position to obtain a better life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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