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Music has the power to bring the people from various cultures together

Music has the power to bring the people from various cultures together nXxqe
Over the period of time there were many new innovations and interests that has brought the people from various directions under one roof. Music is one of those, which has the power to attract and its impact is not only limited to humans. During the course of evolution music also found it’s way into reinvention on various forms and thus the result we have different genres of music today. Though some kinds of music is mostly celebrated at only specific parts of the country, present day technology has made it easier for anyone to explore and enjoy their favourite kind of music. Thus we can also assume that there are people now belonging to any part of the world might be sharing similar taste in music. Back in the time, we can see events where artists used to travel through countries and perform and thus also allowing the local artists to pick up their style. And this is one of the ways in which people were introduced to new styles and picked up a liking towards it. Today we have sources like youtube and many social media platforms which could bring the people from different places who share the same kind of music which could be k- pop or classical, etc together. For example, though English pop hasn’t have it’s roots from India, many travelled to Mumbai City from different parts of the country when Justin Bieber visited and performed a concert. This clearly can explain how music can bring people together to celebrate their favourite artist perform irrespective of their cultural. In conclusion I completely agree with the statement that music can bring prople belonging to different cultures together and to celebrate.
Over the period of time there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new innovations and interests that has brought the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various directions under one roof.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is one of those, which has the power to attract and its impact is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited to humans.

During the course of evolution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
found
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it’s
way into reinvention on various forms and
thus
the result we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
mostly
celebrated at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
specific parts of the country, present day technology has made it easier for anyone to explore and enjoy their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we can
also
assume that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
belonging to any part of the world might be sharing similar taste in music.

Back in the time, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
where artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel through countries and perform and
thus
also
allowing the local artists to pick up their style. And this is one of the ways in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were introduced
to new styles and picked up a liking towards it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we have sources like
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social media platforms which could bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places who share the same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which could be k- pop or classical, etc together.

For example
, though English pop
Did you mean "hasn’t had"?
hasn’t have
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
roots from India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
travelled to Mumbai City from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the country when Justin Bieber visited and performed a concert. This
clearly
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together to celebrate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
artist perform irrespective of their cultural.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
Possible spelling mistake found.
prople
belonging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures together and to celebrate.
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IELTS essay Music has the power to bring the people from various cultures together

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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