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some people think that news media have influenced negative on society

some people think that news media have influenced negative on society 2RxoJ
Some group of society believe that in these times TV and other ways, transferring daily news have a bad influence on people. This essay disagrees with the given statement that media has inferior effect on society. In the following paragraphs, I will put the arguments in favor of my views. To begin with, news media have influenced in many ways. Firstly, by means of news channels people can keep abreast of events occurring throughout the world. In particular, people who are seriously ill and are not able to go outside. Television and newspapers are more suitable and convenient for them to get to know about changes and statements going on the world. Political news, latest happenings and product marketing are clear indication that media has beneficial functions. Secondly, via media young individuals and other people may reveal their talents and they have an opportunity to outspread them. A good example of this often in newspapers and in television shows we can read or see a variety of poetries and stories written by certain person. Furthermore, media plays cruical role in distribution of various of cultures and lifestyles. The popularity of our traditions and culture across the countries is the best example of media's substantial impact. Finally, television programs can be entertainingly and enjoyable whereby it is many people's favourite way to wind down after a hard day at work. Contrastingly, news media as well has bought downsides. Media daily transmits news about crime, war, terrorism wnd violence, notably this kind of news can affect on children's mind whereas on every other person. For instance, some people link violence on television with crime in the real world and harmful behaviour of characters shown on television can influence people. On the basis of the mentioned above, it would seem that the influence of media on people's live is substantially positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
group of society believe that in these times TV and other ways, transferring daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay disagrees with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has inferior effect on society. In the following paragraphs, I will put the arguments in favor of my views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have influenced in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Firstly
, by means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
occurring throughout the world.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
seriously
ill and are not able to go outside.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
and newspapers are more suitable and convenient for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and statements going on the world. Political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
happenings and product marketing are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indication that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has beneficial functions.
Secondly
, via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
young individuals and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may reveal their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talents and
they have an opportunity to outspread them. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in newspapers and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
we can read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a variety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
poetries
and stories written by certain person.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays
Possible spelling mistake found.
cruical
role in distribution of various of cultures and lifestyles. The popularity of our traditions and culture across the countries is the best example of media's substantial impact.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs can be
entertainingly
and enjoyable whereby it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
way to wind down after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day at work.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Contrastingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as well
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
downsides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
daily transmits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about crime, war, terrorism
Possible spelling mistake found.
wnd
violence,
notably
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on children's mind whereas on every other person.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
link violence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
with crime in the real world and harmful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of characters shown on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the basis of the mentioned above, it would seem that the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is
substantially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
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IELTS essay some people think that news media have influenced negative on society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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