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These days with advances in technology more and more people are working from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion. v.2

These days with advances in technology more and more people are working from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion. v. 2
Technology is playing a very increasing role in human life, and people are doing their work from home. In this essay, I will develop its advantages on the first paragraph, and disadvantages on the second part as follows. One of the advantages of working from home is that it gives benefits for both employees and employers. It is due to the fact that people who are working from home not only can organize their time and work, in other words, they can stop or start work as they want but also can save money for transport and dinner which is paid in the restaurant. On the other hand, it would save the office rental, furniture’s and electricity cost for the employers. For instance, they have family and children, so they can pay attention to them and do their home tasks in the time when they want. Therefore, working from home is useful for not only workers but also employers. Despite these positive influences, however, there are some disadvantages. Some people think that working from home is not an effective thing, and they believe that having an eye to eye contact is an essential thing in the cooperation between superior and staffs or among working colleagues. For example, people are always surrounded by others when they are at work, but at home, an employee is likely to be alone most the time. Thus, it may lead to feelings of loneliness. To conclude, it is true that many people are working from their home nowadays. While some people believe that this condition brings benefits for companies, employees and others disagree with it. I assume that working from home is more useful than working from the office to not only employees but also employers.
Technology is playing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
increasing role in human life, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home. In this essay, I will develop its advantages on the
first
paragraph, and disadvantages on the second part as follows.

One of the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is that it gives benefits for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and employers. It is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can organize their time and
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work
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can save money for transport and dinner which
is paid
in the restaurant. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it would save the office rental, furniture’s and electricity cost for the employers.
For instance
, they have family and children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can pay attention to them and do their home tasks in the time when they want.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is useful for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
employers.

Despite these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is not an effective thing, and they believe that having an
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
eye to eye
contact is an essential thing in the cooperation between superior and staffs or among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
colleagues.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always surrounded by others when they are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at home, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is likely to be alone most the time.
Thus
, it may lead to feelings of loneliness.

To conclude
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from their home nowadays. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this condition brings benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
disagree with it. I assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is more useful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from the office to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
employers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay These days with advances in technology more and more people are working from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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