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These days, video gaming is becoming more and more popular in youngsters. What are the advantages and disadvantages of video games?

These days, video gaming is becoming more and more popular in youngsters. What are the advantages and disadvantages of video games? Wg6pa
Nowadays, mushrooming of video games is becoming very prominent in youth. The excess use of video games can drastically affect. Whereas, it can be beneficial in alot of aspects. Some merits and demerits of video games are stated below. The increasing interest of youth in video games, has a terrible corns. Firstly, it affects the health of young bloods. Video game playing results in weakening of eyesight and other related problems, it makes us lazy, as we can easily excess digitally and need very less physical efforts. It also acts as a stress booster and responsible for ill -physcological health. Apart from health discards, it has a very crucial role in making us unsocailizing as youngsters prefer to play video games, instead of spending their time with their family and friends. They don't discover their interests and hobbies. due to this, they loses creativity. They also take their studies for granted which leads to a great lose from academic point of view. Although, video gaming has alot of disadvantages, it bears some advantages also. As by playing video games, the mental sharpness and alertness increases. It it a great indoor activity to pass one's leisure time. Moreover, by live streaming on any social platform, one can earn money without alot of efforts. With the help of this, the youngsters can fulfill their needs and be financially independent. it also gives bread and butter to the employees who works in software engineering, programming and coding like fields of computer applications, on industrial level. At last, it can be compiled by concluding that video games affects mentally, socially as well as behaviorally. But it is a way of earning for youngsters and it helps in improving their sharpness. A balance in video gaming and other parts of life can lead youth and Male them more stable.
Nowadays, mushrooming of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prominent in youth. The excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
drastically
affect.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, it can be beneficial in
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are stated
below.

The increasing interest of youth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, has a terrible
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "corn"?
corns
.
Firstly
, it affects the health of young bloods.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
game playing results in weakening of eyesight and other related problems, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us lazy, as we can
easily
excess
digitally
and need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less physical efforts. It
also
acts as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
booster and responsible for ill
Possible spelling mistake found.
-physcological
health. Apart from health discards, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role in making us
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsocailizing
as youngsters prefer to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
instead
of spending their time with their family and friends. They don't discover their interests and hobbies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to this, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "lose"
loses
creativity. They
also
take their studies for granted which leads to a great lose from academic point of view.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
gaming has
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of disadvantages, it bears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
also
. As by playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, the mental sharpness and alertness increases.
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
It it
a great indoor activity to pass one's leisure time.
Moreover
, by
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
on any social platform, one can earn money without
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of efforts. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this, the youngsters can fulfill their needs and be
financially
independent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
also
gives bread and butter to the employees who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'employees' should be used.
works
in software engineering, programming and coding like fields of computer applications, on industrial level.

At last, it can
be compiled
by concluding that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
affects mentally,
socially
as well
as
behaviorally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is a way of earning for youngsters and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving their sharpness. A balance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
gaming and other parts of life can lead youth and Male them more stable.
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IELTS essay These days, video gaming is becoming more and more popular in youngsters. What are the advantages and disadvantages of video games?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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