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The modification in eating habits nowadays is affected most of the population which is health problems. The health systems are facing the increasing number of obesity patients and more. There are plenty of reason include the advertising, the development of social medias and the marketing strategy.

The modification in eating habits nowadays is affected most of the population which is health problems. The health systems are facing the increasing number of obesity patients and more. There are plenty of reason include the advertising, the development of social medias and the marketing strategy. ew76V
The modification in eating habits nowadays is affected most of the population which is health problems. The health systems are facing the increasing number of obesity patients and more. There are plenty of reason include the advertising, the development of social medias and the marketing strategy. The major reason of leading bad eating habits was the unreliable advertisement. Many groceries and supermarket are selling uncommitted nutrients fact which locates in every product. Companies lies about the true nutrients that users absorb result to the over calories and fat take in. Furthermore, in many promotions on TV or various advertisements which forces into the viewers and makes them fells hungry. For an illustration, Mukbang channel which is encouraging people using Korean food by recording they massive amount of unhealthy, coloring food. This video usually be watched by plenty of people and for my personal view, this advertisement has done a great job in making people eating over the suggestion and eating junk food. There are more online platform that also does the same content of eating a massive amount of food such as youtube, facebook and Tiktok… Attracting colors and intensive sound caused them starving. To improve people awareness in healthy diet, first of all, different workout and routine should be added into their schedule. The more active we are the more fat and calories we burned. Thus, combines the eating habits and the workout can reject the obesity. Otherwise, there should a policy in fact nutrients given, punishments are necessary to raise the companies’ awareness. Finally, managing the content on various of social media platforms is played a crucial role in changing eating habits. We could also create and encouraging healthy eating contents online and share it to yours friends. Finally, education for children from the very young age can reduce the obesity patients for the long term. The eating habits a currently be affected by different reason, therefore its still depend on your effort and determine of staying healthy. The health experts should have more research and advise to control the changing eating habits.
The modification in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
nowadays is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
most of the population which is health problems. The health systems are facing the increasing number of obesity patients and more. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reason include the advertising, the development of social medias and the marketing strategy.

The major reason of leading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
was the unreliable advertisement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
groceries and supermarket are selling uncommitted
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nutrients'" or "nutrient's"?
nutrients
fact which locates in every product.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "" or "Companies lies".
Companies lies
about the true nutrients that users absorb result to the over calories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
take in.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
promotions on TV or various advertisements which forces into the viewers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them fells hungry. For an illustration,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mukbang
channel which is encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by recording they massive amount of unhealthy, coloring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This video
The adverb 'usually' usually goes after the verb 'be'.
usually be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and for my personal view, this advertisement has done a great job in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
over the suggestion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. There are more online
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "platforms"?
platform
that
also
does the same content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
a massive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
… Attracting colors and intensive sound caused them starving.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
awareness in healthy diet,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
workout and routine should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into their schedule. The more active we are the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and calories we burned.
Thus
, combines the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and the workout can reject the obesity.
Otherwise
, there should a policy in fact nutrients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, punishments are necessary to raise the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’ awareness.
Finally
, managing the content on various of social media platforms
is played
a crucial role in changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. We could
also
create and encouraging healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
contents online and share it to yours friends.
Finally
, education for children from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the obesity patients for the long term.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
a
currently
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reason,
therefore
its
still
depend on your effort and determine of staying healthy. The health experts should have more research and advise to control the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
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IELTS essay The modification in eating habits nowadays is affected most of the population which is health problems. The health systems are facing the increasing number of obesity patients and more. There are plenty of reason include the advertising, the development of social medias and the marketing strategy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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