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These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.2

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 2
Over the past half-century, the issue of whether to spend one’s hard earned wages on sporting events such as football, basketball or rugby matches or use it wisely in terms of investing or savings has become a matter of concern in many cities. While some think that sporting event tickets are far too expensive, others stand firmly against this belief. This essay will discuss why the benefits of attending sport or cultural occasions are actually worth more than the original price of the ticket using appropriate examples. On the one hand those ardent music and sports fans who attend concerts, gigs, matches or athletic competitions happily extol the virtues of these on their overall well-being, both physical and mental. Also, by watching, participating and enjoying a game people’ stress levels can be radically reduced. Moreover, a recent article published by the Harvard Business Review showed that top executives in the 500 Fortune companies had invested in tickets for basketball games not only for themselves but for their clients aiming to seek distraction and amusement while entertaining and nurturing future business contacts. Thus, such events have become a noteworthy opportunity for socializing or networking. On the other hand, if money is no object, then there is overwhelming evidence that going to festivals, attending concerts is a growing trend which is appreciated because of its ability to build fond memories which last a lifetime and become part of a family’s history. For instance, a recent survey conducted in a university in the United Kingdom revelated that majority of the students had attended Micheal Jackson’s concert when they were younger, and considered it to be a memorable day for them and their families. Therefore, the emotional value of such events cannot be overstated. To conclude from the aforementioned arguments, I firmly believe that despite the frequently high prices of attending sport and cultural events, these occasions have more a positive influence on people than a negative one.
Over the past half-century, the issue of whether to spend one’s
hard earned
wages on sporting
events
such as football, basketball or rugby matches or
use
it
wisely
in terms of investing or savings has become a matter of concern in
many
cities. While
some
think
that sporting
event
tickets are far too expensive, others stand
firmly
against this belief. This essay will discuss why the benefits of attending sport or cultural occasions are actually worth more than the original price of the ticket using appropriate examples.

On the one hand those ardent music and sports fans who attend concerts, gigs, matches or athletic competitions
happily
extol the virtues of these on their
overall
well-being, both physical and mental.
Also
, by watching, participating and enjoying a game
people
stress
levels can be
radically
reduced
.
Moreover
, a recent article published by the Harvard Business Review
showed
that top executives in the 500 Fortune
companies
had invested in tickets for basketball games not
only
for themselves
but
for their clients aiming to seek distraction and amusement while entertaining and nurturing future business contacts.
Thus
, such
events
have become a noteworthy opportunity for socializing or networking.

On the other hand
, if money is no object, then there is overwhelming evidence that going to festivals, attending concerts is a growing trend which
is appreciated
because
of its ability to build fond memories which last a lifetime and become part of a family’s history.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted in a university in the United Kingdom
revelated
that majority of the students had attended Micheal Jackson’s concert when they were younger, and considered it to be a memorable day for them and their families.
Therefore
, the emotional value of such
events
cannot
be overstated
.

To conclude
from the aforementioned arguments, I
firmly
believe that despite the
frequently
high prices of attending sport and cultural
events
, these occasions have more a
positive
influence on
people
than a
negative
one.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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