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These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? RJOp
There has been much discussion whether spending a great amount of money to enjoy sport competitions or cultural activities is a positive development or the opposite. This essay would argue that the benefits of expenditure spent to buy tickets of sporting or cultural occasions outweigh its drawbacks for the following reasons. To begin with, it might be claimed that allocating budget on fundamental needs is better than on entertainment pleasures that lasted only for hours but they are expensive, such as watching sport matches and cultural events. This is because people should save money considering the price of humans’ fundamental needs is likely to increase by years such as housing and tuition fee. Furthermore, most of the sport competitions and cultural activities are broadcasted on television, which the general public could enjoy comfortably at home with families. However, it is widely believed that the entrance fee is contributed significantly to the operational sport organizations as well as taking part in preserving the local culture. This because the ticket fee could be used to pay salary of the athletes, coach, artists, and board of members who involve in the show primarily in less developed countries, which the sport competitions and cultural shows do not received as much money as those shows in developing countries from sponsors. Furthermore, this phenomenon commonly occurred due to the poor achievements of sport players made and consequently they are dependent heavily on money that people spend on entrance fee. In conclusion, I would argue that spending a great amount of money to enjoy sport and cultural shows have plenty of advantages such as it could support the operational organizations expenditure, pay salary of the athletes, artists, and other members which are vital particularly in less developed countries that has a few sponsors and donors.
There has been much discussion whether spending a great amount of
money
to enjoy
sport
competitions or
cultural
activities is a
positive
development or the opposite. This essay would argue that the benefits of expenditure spent to
buy
tickets of sporting or
cultural
occasions outweigh its drawbacks for the following reasons.

To
begin
with, it might
be claimed
that allocating budget on fundamental needs is better than on entertainment pleasures that lasted
only
for hours
but
they are expensive, such as watching
sport
matches and
cultural
events
. This is
because
people
should save
money
considering the price of humans’ fundamental needs is likely to increase by years such as housing and tuition fee.
Furthermore
, most of the
sport
competitions and
cultural
activities
are broadcasted
on television, which the
general public
could enjoy
comfortably
at home with families.

However
, it is
widely
believed that the entrance fee
is contributed
significantly
to the operational
sport
organizations
as well
as taking part in preserving the local culture. This
because
the ticket fee could be
used
to pay salary of the athletes, coach, artists, and board of members who involve in the
show
primarily
in less
developed countries
, which the
sport
competitions and
cultural
shows
do not received as much
money
as those
shows
in
developing countries
from sponsors.
Furthermore
, this phenomenon
commonly
occurred due to the poor achievements of
sport
players made and
consequently
they are dependent
heavily
on
money
that
people
spend on entrance fee.

In conclusion
, I would argue that spending a great amount of
money
to enjoy
sport
and
cultural
shows
have
plenty
of advantages such as it could support the operational
organizations
expenditure, pay salary of the athletes, artists, and other members which are vital
particularly
in less
developed countries
that has a few sponsors and donors.
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IELTS essay These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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