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Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges and universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges and universities does. xYng
Nowadays, more and more people prefer distance-learning programs such as TV, Internet, post and studying at home instead of traditional ways of education. Whereas other people claim that it is not able to give same prosperity and replace attending educational institutions. I feel strongly that there are a lot of advantages in online education but not for every student. It is a good opportunity for people who do not have free time for trips. Also the people can use free online resources on the Internet. And today distance-learning programs can be cheaper then usual learning programs. On the other side, some kind of students are not able to learn and study something themselves without teachers or professors because usually the students need someone who always shows them their mistakes and demonstrates how to do something correctly. I strongly do not recommend the students engaging in self-education. In conclusion, I believe joining distance-learning programs are really good way but it is individual, someone may be suitable, and someone may not.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as TV, Internet, post and studying at home
instead
of traditional ways of education. Whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is not able to give same prosperity and replace attending educational institutions. I feel
strongly
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages in online education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have free time for trips.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
free online resources on the Internet. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
can be
Did you mean "cheaper than"?
cheaper then
usual learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not able to learn and study something themselves without teachers or professors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
usually
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need someone who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
them their mistakes and demonstrates how to do something
correctly
. I
strongly
do not recommend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
engaging in self-education.
In conclusion
, I believe joining distance-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is individual, someone may be suitable, and someone may not.

IELTS essay Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges and universities does.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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