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These days, some individuals argue that high school student offer community service as compulsory part in program.

These days, some individuals argue that high school student offer community service as compulsory part in program. wOWVY
These days, some individuals argue that high school student offer community service as compulsory part in program. However, In my opinion, although there are advantages for student and residents, it has more disadvantages in the system. These days, some individuals argue that high school students offer community service as a compulsory part of the program. However, in my opinion, although there are advantages for students and residents, it has more disadvantages in the system. To begin with, if the community service are mandatory one as high school program, there are several merit. Firstly, teenagers can improve cooperative spirit. This is because most of such volunteering need to teamwork. So, they learn how to deal with work with others. Secondly, they can feel a sense of accomplishment by helping neighbors. It help develop youngsters’ emotion. Third, they can write the experience in essay to enter a university. For instance, many teenagers want to apply a university and there are intense competition. However, such experience like social volunteer become excellent story in essay. On the other hand, there are some side effect to be compulsory things of high school programs. First and foremost, teenagers can not concentrate their main subject like math and science due to the programs. To be more explain, they would have only a few time to study thesis subject if they participate in the community service. So, they would have low-academic performance. On the Top of that, such system of school would have negative effect for accession rate in this city. This is because, if youngsters offer their labor force as free service like working farm or charity. The people who are employers do not need to hire their staffs. Therefore, some workers can lose their jobs. In conclusion, free services which offer free community service by high school students as a mandatory one have some merits. However, I believe that there are more demerits in the program.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as compulsory part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
However
, In my opinion, although there are advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and residents, it has more disadvantages in the system.

These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as a compulsory part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
However
, in my opinion, although there are advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and residents, it has more disadvantages in the system.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
are mandatory one as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun merit seems to be countable; consider using: "several merits".
several merit
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
cooperative spirit. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of such volunteering need to teamwork.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they learn how to deal with work with others.
Secondly
, they can feel a sense of accomplishment by helping neighbors. It
Did you mean "helps"?
help
develop youngsters’ emotion. Third, they can write the experience in essay to enter a university.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
want to apply a university and there are intense competition.
However
, such experience like social volunteer become excellent story in essay.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
side effect to be compulsory things of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can not concentrate their main subject like math and science due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. To be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, they would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
to study thesis subject if they participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they would have low-academic performance. On the Top of that, such system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect for accession rate in this city. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
their labor force as free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
like working farm or charity. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are employers do not need to hire their staffs.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers can lose their jobs.

In conclusion
, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as a mandatory one have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits.
However
, I believe that there are more demerits in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.

IELTS essay These days, some individuals argue that high school student offer community service as compulsory part in program.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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