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aging problems in the arre ahhjhffujtand hhrrrihjbjsk

aging problems in the arre ahhjhffujtand hhrrrihjbjsk okgJg
In recent eras, aging has become a concern with people all around the world. Some individuals are willing to continue their job even after having reached their retirement age. While there are several drawbacks of this aspect, I believe that its benefits are outweight those detrimental effects. On the one hand, continuing to work despite having reached retirement age has some adverse consequences on elderly. From general perspective, this phenomenon can lead to an undesirably more competitive employment market. For instance, elderly candidates, who have more hands-on experience, compete with younger one for their position of employment can lead to the age discrimination in one organisation. If a considerable number of works are taken accountibilty by the seniors, there will be fewer opportuinities for young generation who want to have stayable job and chance to make advance in working. As a result, numerous of youngster must leave off their job. However, in spite of the drawbacks, the advantages of the allowing elderly people to continue their career should be noticeable. From individuals level, continuing to work after their limited age is an appropriate opportunity for elderly to improve their mental health and prevent from disease. To be specific, working can help their brains active positively so that they can prevent from some problems relevant to brain disorders such as Alzhiemer, which can lead to a better retire life. For family’s benefit, elderly can make a contribution to family’s finance, which decrease the heavy of finance burden for their kids. This typicial situation has become familiar with some family in developing countries such as Vietnam, where kids depend on their parental support in money to work or caring their children. In conclusion, although this phenomenon may bring pressure on working environment, it has beneficial consequences for both individuals and their family in some situation.
In recent eras, aging has become a concern with
people
all around the world.
Some


individuals are willing to continue their job even after having reached their retirement

age. While there are several drawbacks of this aspect, I believe that its benefits are

outweight
those detrimental effects.

On the one hand, continuing to work despite having reached retirement age has
some


adverse consequences on elderly. From general perspective, this phenomenon can lead to an
undesirably
more competitive employment market.
For instance
, elderly

candidates, who have more hands-on experience, compete with younger one for their

position of employment can lead to the age discrimination in one
organisation
. If a

considerable number of works
are taken
accountibilty
by the seniors, there will be

fewer
opportuinities
for young generation who want to have
stayable
job and chance to
make
advance in working.
As a result
, numerous of youngster
must
leave
off their job.

However
,
in spite of
the drawbacks, the advantages of the allowing elderly
people
to

continue their career should be noticeable. From individuals level, continuing to work

after their limited age is an appropriate opportunity for elderly to
improve
their mental

health and
prevent
from disease. To be specific, working can
help
their brains active

positively
so
that they can
prevent
from
some
problems relevant to brain disorders

such as
Alzhiemer
, which can lead to a better retire life. For
family’s
benefit, elderly

can
make
a contribution to
family’s
finance, which decrease the heavy of finance

burden for their kids. This
typicial
situation has become familiar with
some
family
in

developing countries
such as Vietnam, where kids depend on their parental support in

money to work or caring their children.

In conclusion
, although this phenomenon may bring pressure on working

environment, it has beneficial consequences for both individuals and their
family
in

some
situation.
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IELTS essay aging problems in the arre ahhjhffujtand hhrrrihjbjsk

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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