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These days, people think companies ought to do something extra for their employees. What should a company do to ensure the loyalty of its employees?

These days, people think companies ought to do something extra for their employees. What should a company do to ensure the loyalty of its employees? 1oBkG
In my opinion, the employees would like to want more extra from their workplace. So, the company should give more benefits to employees, organize some monthly training sessions and encourage them with some awards or gifts. In that way, we will ensure the employees serve for a long time in our organization. First of all, I believe all employees would love to receive more extra benefits. So, the company can set up a salary package to award them if the employees work effectively and efficiently. Moreover, we can give them more extra cost for moving and lunch. Actually, it is a happy fact if they are supported about these costs. Secondly, a good idea is to take place a series of monthly training sessions for newbee or former employees. In that way, the staff will update their capabilities and expertise which is really helpful for them to boost and improve their performances smoothly and efficiently. As a result, they will believe their working environment will help them build a potential and stable career. Finally, the ideal workplace is to have a clear and full assessment for performance laborers. The organization should evaluate the employees clearly and usually award or encourage them in working. If they have a good performance, they will be paid an award worthy of their effort. On the contrary, we should search the employee’s roof matters or difficulties for the reason why they work ineffectively. From that, the firm should have some feasible ways to tackle the problems. To sum up, these are good ideas if the company gives employees more benefit packages, takes place some monthly training sessions and stimulates them to work as well as possible by setting up a clear and full of assessments. In that way, it will encourage them to work for a long time and strengthen their loyalty.
In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would like to want more extra from their workplace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should give more benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
monthly training sessions and encourage them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awards
or gifts. In that way, we will ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
serve for a long time in our organization.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to receive more extra benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can set up a salary package to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
them if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
and
efficiently
.
Moreover
, we can give them more extra cost for moving and lunch. Actually, it is a happy fact if they
are supported
about these costs.

Secondly
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is to take place a series of monthly training sessions for
Possible spelling mistake found.
newbee
or former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. In that way, the staff will update their capabilities and expertise which is
really
helpful for them to boost and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their performances
smoothly
and
efficiently
.
As a result
, they will believe their working environment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them build a potential and stable career.

Finally
, the ideal workplace is to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and full assessment for performance laborers. The organization should evaluate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
clearly
and
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
or encourage them in working. If they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance, they will
be paid
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
award
worthy of their effort.
On the contrary
, we should search the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
roof matters or difficulties for the reason why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ineffectively
. From that, the firm should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible ways to tackle the problems.

To sum up, these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
more benefit packages, takes place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
monthly training sessions and stimulates them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as possible by setting up a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and full of assessments. In that way, it will encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a long time and strengthen their loyalty.
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IELTS essay These days, people think companies ought to do something extra for their employees. What should a company do to ensure the loyalty of its employees?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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