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These days more and more people move away from the area where they were born and bought up when they become adults

These days more and more people move away from the area where they were born and bought up when they become adults 7WNO5
Many people in today’s era are migrating away from their native place when they enter the adulthood. In my knowledge, there are people who shift from one place to another because of many reasons. One of which is getting new jobs. For e. g. in this generation people who want to achieve more and more (success in their career and travel from their native place). So if they are getting a new or (a better job) even outside the country they will leave their hometown. Also, education have been a reason where many students opt to do their further studies (in region where they hold) where it is best for their field. Personally speaking, i have been wanting to move away and study abroad since i was a child and now since i have came across colleges best for hospitality here i am giving my exams to leave my native place and go for my further education. ( since my childhood i wanted to study abroad where they have better universities for hospitality. ) ( focusing on my stream which is hospitality which is also emerging on global level have a brighter side in different countries. ) Migrating on the basis of environment is now emerged as a new trend. Some people also move away because of the environment in their locality. According to a survey many people want to move away from their place where they are currently living. According to census reports, there has been change in people’s migration perspective where it is highlighted that more people tend to move from urban area to rural locality. This is observed because of environmental degradation, less land area in urban regions. Going away from a place where you have been living for years is leaving behind all the memories. Moving from your loved ones and staying alone can also cause lonliness in the beginning. Whereas, there are people who consider moving away and staying alone is a new adventure or a great opportunity to explore. All in all there is no such positive or negative side of moving away. It depends on person to person and different situations. Everybody has different reasons, beliefs and ideas.
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Many
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people
in
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today
’s era are migrating
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away
from their native
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place
when they enter the adulthood.

In my knowledge, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who shift from one
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place
to another
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because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. One of which is getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
jobs. For
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
in this generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to achieve more and more (success in their career and travel from their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place)
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if they are getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
or (a better job) even outside the country they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometown.

Also
, education have been a reason where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students opt to do their
further
studies (in region where they hold) where it is best for their field.
Personally
speaking,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have been wanting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
and study abroad since
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was a child and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have
Use past participle here: "come".
came
across colleges best for hospitality here
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am giving my exams to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
my native
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place
and go for my
further
education.
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
since my childhood
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
wanted to study abroad where they have better universities for hospitality.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
focusing on my stream which is hospitality which is
also
emerging on global level have a brighter side in
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different
countries.
Loose punctuation mark.
)


Migrating on the basis of environment is
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now
emerged as a
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new
trend.
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Some
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people
also
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move
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away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the environment in their locality. According to a survey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where they are
currently
living.

According to census reports, there has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
migration perspective where it
is highlighted
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
from urban area to rural locality. This
is observed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of environmental degradation, less land area in urban regions.

Going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where you have been living for years is leaving behind all the memories. Moving from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and staying alone can
also
cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
lonliness
in the beginning. Whereas, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consider moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
and staying alone is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
adventure or a great opportunity to explore.

All in all there is no such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
. It depends on person to person and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations. Everybody has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons, beliefs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
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IELTS essay These days more and more people move away from the area where they were born and bought up when they become adults

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
365 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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