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Write a paragraph about 120 words to give your opinion on the following topic (10 points). “Secondary school students shouldn’t use mobile phones

Write a paragraph about 120 words to give your opinion on the following topic (10 points). “Secondary school students shouldn’t use mobile phones LGJoG
“Secondary school students shouldn’t use mobile phones”. Becoming a secondary student, I don't fully agree with this view. The first. Phone use for students with 2 sides: good face and bad face. However, if you know how to use your phone properly, it will be your friend's friend. Today society is growing for students to be exposed to the phone as a good thing because the use of social networks will increase the ability to creative and train intelligence for children. In addition, using the phone to participate in online classes is essential. Using the phone is also a way for students to entertain after tired tense hours. However this does not mean it is to participate in playing violent games. 1 Convincing voucher, that's while Covid is complicated, learning online is mandatory for students and it is really convenient. So letting students use the phone when it is not bad but don't let them overuse and immerse them in that virtual world.
“Secondary school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones”
. Becoming a secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I don't
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. The
first
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with 2 sides:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
face and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
face.
However
, if you know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
properly
, it will be your friend's friend.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
society is growing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
be exposed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social networks will increase the ability to creative and train intelligence for children.
In addition
, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to participate in online classes is essential. Using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
also
a way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to entertain after tired tense hours.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this does not mean it is to participate in playing violent games. 1 Convincing voucher, that's while
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
is complicated
, learning online is mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and it is
really
convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
when it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them overuse and immerse them in that virtual world.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph about 120 words to give your opinion on the following topic (10 points). “Secondary school students shouldn’t use mobile phones

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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