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These days, modern children prefer to take health supplements rather than natural diets such as vegetables, milk etc. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

These days, modern children prefer to take health supplements rather than natural diets such as vegetables, milk etc. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. 7aPok
Nowadays, modern teenagers favour taking health supplements on behalf of natural diets such as vegetables, milk etc. Although there are certain advantages associated with this trend, the downsides seem to outweigh the upsides in this case. To initiate the advantages of taking health supplements. The first and foremost is the enhancement of physical fitness. To elaborate, when youngsters taking health supplements, they can increase their immune system which may be helpful to fight against various kind of diseases. As a result, minerals, which are beneficial for children, they can also acquire knowledge for their family, minerals like vitamins, protein, and carbohydrates. To cite an example, a supplement, which was produced by GNC in the USA, it contains all essential minerals which enhance physical fitness. Despite the benefits, taking health supplements has disadvantages too. The primary one is mixing in health supplements. To explain, when adolescents taking mixed health supplements, in their daily routine they face troubles like stomach pain, constipation, and headaches. As a result, if children taking mixed health supplement on daily basis, they may face a lot of diseases such as an increase in blood pressure, cancer, and failure of the kidney. For example, in India, a company optimum nutrition, which mixing bad minerals in supplements, it is likely to lead some health problems. In conclusion, though some specific benefits in the world with this trend especially enhancement in physical fitness, it has more adverse effects because of mixing in supplements
Nowadays, modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
on behalf of natural diets such as vegetables, milk etc. Although there are certain advantages associated with this trend, the downsides seem to outweigh the upsides
in this case
.

To initiate the advantages of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
. The
first
and foremost is the enhancement of physical fitness. To elaborate, when youngsters taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
, they can increase their immune system which may be helpful to fight against various kind of diseases.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minerals
, which are beneficial for children, they can
also
acquire knowledge for their family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minerals
like vitamins, protein, and carbohydrates. To cite an example, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplement
, which
was produced
by GNC in the USA, it contains all essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minerals
which enhance physical fitness.

Despite the benefits, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
has disadvantages too. The primary one is mixing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, when adolescents taking mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
, in their daily routine they face troubles like stomach pain, constipation, and headaches.
As a result
, if children taking mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplement
on daily basis, they may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
diseases such as an increase in blood pressure, cancer, and failure of the kidney.
For example
, in India, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
optimum nutrition, which mixing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minerals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
, it is likely to lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

In conclusion
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific benefits in the world with this trend
especially
enhancement in physical fitness, it has more adverse effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mixing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
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IELTS essay These days, modern children prefer to take health supplements rather than natural diets such as vegetables, milk etc. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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