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These days, many university courses are offered through the internet. Some people think that online teaching has more advantages than conventional classroom teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant disadvantages. Do the benefits of online teaching outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Online teaching has become a new trend in many universities, which is a outcome of advancement in technology. However, some people think online teaching has tremendous disadvantage than class room teaching, meanwhile others claim that there are significant advantages. First of all, online teaching has been a “ dream come true moment” to many students who can’t afford to migrate for studies. Especially many housewives are been benefited by learning virtually. All what a student need is a laptop or a phone and a writing book. It reduces the weight of books carried to traditional classroom session. More over it is time efficient and saves money in terms of travelling and self grooming. How ever, while surveying the disadvantages. Many students get lazy sitting in a place for a long time, which leads to lack of exercise and does not give any chance for live interaction between classmates. Meanwhile, there might be some students who could not access to a proper internet connection and sometimes even a proper laptop, which may discourage students mentally. To conclude, I would strongly say that disadvantages outweigh the advantages when comes to online teaching. As such, online teaching is not very efficient. More over, students should engage in physical activites, trainings and live interaction with their classmates in addition to just education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
has become a new trend in
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many
universities, which is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
outcome of advancement in technology.
However
,
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some
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people
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think
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
has tremendous disadvantage than
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class
room
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teaching
, meanwhile others claim that there are significant advantages.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
has been a
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true moment” to
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many
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students
who can’t afford to migrate for studies.
Especially
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many
housewives
are been
benefited by learning
virtually
. All what a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
need is a laptop or a phone and a writing book. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the weight of books carried to traditional classroom session. More over it is time efficient and saves money in terms of travelling and self grooming.

Did you mean "however"?
How ever
, while surveying the disadvantages.
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Many
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lazy sitting in a place for a long time, which leads to lack of exercise and does not give any chance for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
interaction between classmates. Meanwhile, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who could not access to a proper internet connection and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even a proper laptop, which may discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mentally.

To conclude
, I would
strongly
say that disadvantages outweigh the advantages when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
. As such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient. More over,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should engage in physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
, trainings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
interaction with their classmates
in addition
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
education.
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The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Question: These days, many university courses are offered through the internet. Some people think online teaching has more advantage than conventional class room teaching or lectures, while others claim that there are significant disadvantages. Do the benefits of online teaching outweigh the disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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