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These days, governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas due to overcrowding problems related to accommodation and transportation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas due to overcrowding problems related to accommodation and transportation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? L3J7R
It is undeniable that many major cities across the world are facing housing and public transit problems because of high population density in those areas. In light of these problems, the governments are now suggesting new businesses and companies to move and open in rural communities. In my opinion, encouraging businesses to migrate to small towns hold more advantages than disadvantages. The major concern with businesses concentrating in a metropolitan city is overpopulation as more and more people flocks to cities in an attempt to earn more money. If the government’s suggested plan for potential businesses is achieved, regional areas may see tremendous developments in infrastructure and facilities as well as the job opportunities and hence, raising the living standards of the rural people. This gives rural areas an economic stability and increases the likelihood of growing into a business city. Furthermore, major corporate businesses moving to small towns may attract the potential employees from big cities to come settle in countryside. This, in turn, solve the problems of overpopulation in major cities. On the other hand, relocating businesses to rural towns have negative impacts on the city dwellers. One possible concern is sudden narrowing of job positions which will cause the unemployment rate to skyrocket. If the government cannot handle this properly, the situation may take a worse turn which can have deteriorating effects on the economy of the nation. Another disadvantage is that moving a business can be expensive and cost unnecessary expenses. Small businesses, in particular, may find it hard to adapt to changes and trends. This can eventually lead to businesses shutting down or go bankrupt. In conclusion, I believe that businesses moving to small towns has more benefits as rural communities can develop and people can enjoy equal living standards and adequate income. However, it is also important that the governments take enough preventive measures to ensure that the nation’s economy does not suffer from the moving of businesses.
It is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
across the world are facing housing and public transit problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high population density in those areas. In light of these problems, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
suggesting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and open in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities. In my opinion, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
hold more advantages than disadvantages.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
concern with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
concentrating in a metropolitan city is overpopulation as more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
flocks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in an attempt to earn more money. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
suggested plan for potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
is achieved
, regional areas may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
tremendous developments in infrastructure and facilities
as well
as the job opportunities and
hence
, raising the living standards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas an economic stability and increases the likelihood of growing into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
city.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
may attract the potential employees from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
settle in countryside. This, in turn, solve the problems of overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
cities.

On the other hand
, relocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the city dwellers. One possible concern is sudden narrowing of job positions which will cause the unemployment rate to skyrocket. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot handle this
properly
, the situation may take a worse turn which can have deteriorating effects on the economy of the nation. Another disadvantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can be expensive and cost unnecessary expenses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
,
in particular
, may find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and trends. This can
eventually
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
shutting down or go bankrupt.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
has more benefits as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities can develop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy equal living standards and adequate income.
However
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
preventive measures to ensure that the nation’s economy does not suffer from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
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IELTS essay These days, governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas due to overcrowding problems related to accommodation and transportation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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