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These days free music and free films are available online. Is this is positive or a negative development

These days free music and free films are available online. Is this is positive or a negative development xmap9
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that is entertainment is freely available in different forms of internet platforms because of the enhancement in technology and development. At Early's age, most of people used to spend money to access both cinema and music facilities. However, these entertainment zones are very cheap when the internet comes into the picture. All in one, there are a numerous advantages than disadvantages. The following paragraph would highlight the my personal perspective along with an apt example. I see eye to eye with a central idea for various reasons. First and foremost, peoples are easily accessed the variety of entertainment because it has been available in different forms of platforms without paying extra money on it. In other words, it is a free source for getting entertains. As a result, people can enjoy movies and listening the music from all over the world. In addition to it, by exploring the music and movies they get to know about the other nation culture and language. For instance, some people watch English movies with subtitles also listen up the English songs. That will help them in improving the listening as well as speaking skills. Secondly, some people live in a rural area so they could not easily accessed the theatres and music shops as well as they can't afford money spend on it. But, internet exists everywhere in current days at low cost. So, if movies and music available in internet that will help them in getting entertains yourself. For example, now days everybody is watching YouTube for accessing movies and music. To recapitulate, it is established that there are numerous merits to free entertainment but when we used for a limited time period. Otherwise, it will be just as a time and money wasting. also there are some demerits existed, but it may be a overcome for the upcoming generation.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue
that is
entertainment is
freely
available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of internet platforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the enhancement in technology and development. At Early's age, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to access both cinema and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
facilities.
However
, these entertainment zones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
when the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into the picture. All in one, there are a numerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "advantage"?
advantages
than disadvantages. The following paragraph would highlight
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my personal" or "the personal"?
the my personal
perspective along with an apt example.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with a central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for various reasons.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are
easily
accessed the variety of entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has been available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of platforms without paying extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it.
In other words
, it is a free source for getting entertains.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and listening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from all over the world.
In addition
to it, by exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the other nation culture and language.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with subtitles
also
listen up the English songs. That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in improving the listening
as well
as speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a rural area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could not
easily
The verb 'could' requires base form of the verb: "access"
accessed
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
shops
as well
as they can't afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spend on it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, internet exists everywhere in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days at low cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
available in internet that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in getting entertains yourself.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days everybody is watching YouTube for accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and music.

To recapitulate, it
is established
that there are numerous merits to free entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a limited time period.
Otherwise
, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as a time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wasting.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits existed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
overcome for the upcoming generation.
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IELTS essay These days free music and free films are available online. Is this is positive or a negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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