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some people think that public health within accounting can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food

some people think that public health within accounting can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food jR8jN
Some people believe that nations can control people’s health through the law, while others argued that national only can make their body health. There are two views, government make a law like organic food of supply and demand increased than before and they make this cost cheap, nevertheless, national find health food also they can try to exercise when they have much time. To start with, some people expect government make national’s body health. It is because, nation have to care national like they can make quality of living through the law. For example, organic food has high cost in this period, thus many national cannot buy it. In this case, the society make down cost like to improve the supply and demand for people. Not only that, government also can control working time that is too much time in this era. In this situation, employer cannot spend time for exercise due to work, that time the government can make some law like company cannot give to more than seven-hour of work to workers. On the other hand, people have to follow some plan that is care of people`s health as it will never change, if people do not have any willpower. For instance, they have to do exercise for good health because of health comes from exercise. They have to do exercise for their health because exercise is good. Aside from that, the organic food is good to people’s health, and only people can cure their body when they get ill (sick)from something it means that the hospital the individual can buy medicine and health care must need people’s responsibility (commitment, duty, obligation) and willpower (self-discipline). In conclusion, the government have to help national about health like they can make cheap price and give to time to workers, however most important behavior is national’s responsibility and willpower though they can do exercise when they have time and search the internet for what plan can match to them.
Some
people
believe that nations can control
people’s
health
through the
law
, while others argued that
national
only
can
make
their body
health
. There are two views,
government
make
a
law
like organic
food
of supply and demand increased than
before and
they
make
this cost
cheap
,
nevertheless
,
national
find
health
food
also
they can try to
exercise
when they have much time.

To
start
with,
some
people
expect
government
make
national’s
body
health
. It is
because
, nation
have to
care
national
like they can
make
quality of living through the
law
.
For example
, organic
food
has high cost in this period,
thus
many
national
cannot
buy
it.
In this case
, the society
make
down cost like to
improve
the supply and demand for
people
. Not
only
that,
government
also
can control working
time
that is
too much
time
in this era. In this situation, employer cannot spend
time
for
exercise
due to work, that
time
the
government
can
make
some
law
like
company
cannot give to more than seven-hour of work to workers.

On the other hand
,
people
have to
follow
some
plan
that is
care of
people`s
health
as it will never
change
, if
people
do not have any willpower.
For instance
, they
have to
do
exercise
for
good
health
because
of
health
comes
from
exercise
. They
have to
do
exercise
for their
health
because
exercise
is
good
. Aside from that, the organic
food
is
good
to
people’s
health
, and
only
people
can cure their body when they
get
ill (sick)from something it means that the hospital the individual can
buy
medicine and
health
care
must
need
people’s
responsibility (commitment, duty, obligation) and willpower (self-discipline).

In conclusion
, the
government
have to
help
national
about
health
like they can
make
cheap
price and give to
time
to workers,
however
most
important
behavior is
national’s
responsibility and willpower though they can do
exercise
when they have
time
and search the internet for what plan can match to them.
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IELTS essay some people think that public health within accounting can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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