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Some believe that studying aboard is an exciting prospect while others state that it is probably better to study in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that studying aboard is an exciting prospect while others state that it is probably better to study in their own country. awQnG
There is no doubt education is very important and essential thing. Some people prefer to make their studies in aboard while some people would like to make their learning in their own country. Therefore, the arguments on both sides of this controversial issue will be discussed in the following paragraphs, and finally, my opinion will be given. On one hand, some believe that studying in foreign countries have many developments and can get many experiences. For example, they have to use foreign language to communicate with other people so it causes to improve their foreign language skills. They also ensure that it will enhance social skills because they had to deal with different people from different societies. They point out the fact that learning in aboard will become students to be more mature and will depend on themselves as they have to do everything by themselves from cooking their meals and washing their clothes to managing the use of money. Although there are many positive effects, on the other hand, other people have also expressed that studying in local country has brought important benefits as well. First of all, it makes them to feel safety since they have to live and learn in their mother country. Secondly, it is not as expensive as learning in overseas so that will reduce parents’ financial burdens. On top of everything, studying domestically can keep homesickness away from you and they also do not need to encounter the culture shock since they are in familiar surroundings. There are both positive and negative aspects in the idea of studying in aboard or local. In my opinion, it does not matter wherever they study, if they do not focus on studying well, they will not acquire a knowledge of what they are taught.
There is no doubt education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and essential thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their studies in aboard while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their learning in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, the arguments on both sides of this controversial issue will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs, and
finally
, my opinion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developments and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiences.
For example
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
foreign language to communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it causes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their foreign language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They
also
ensure that it will enhance social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
societies. They point out the fact that learning in aboard will become students to be more mature and will depend on themselves as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do everything by themselves from cooking their meals and washing their clothes to managing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of money.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects,
on the other hand
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
also
expressed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits
as well
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to feel safety since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and learn in their mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
, it is not as expensive as learning in overseas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
parents’ financial burdens. On top of everything,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
domestically
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
homesickness away from you and they
also
do not need to encounter the culture shock since they are in familiar surroundings.

There are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in aboard or local. In my opinion, it does not matter wherever they study, if they do not focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
well, they will not acquire a knowledge of what they
are taught
.
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IELTS essay Some believe that studying aboard is an exciting prospect while others state that it is probably better to study in their own country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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