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These days, computer technology is used in various ways and people normally use computers for educational means. However, there are merits and demerits in utilizing it. I personally claim that although it is harmful for people who use computers for study to perform it, there are more advantages as well.

These days, computer technology is used in various ways and people normally use computers for educational means. However, there are merits and demerits in utilizing it. I personally claim that although it is harmful for people who use computers for study to perform it, there are more advantages as well. alej9
These days, computer technology is used in various ways and people normally use computers for educational means. However, there are merits and demerits in utilizing it. I personally claim that although it is harmful for people who use computers for study to perform it, there are more advantages as well. To begin with, using computer technology is beneficial and convenient. Firstly, most students save their educational costs, utilizing the internet with a computer. For example, in the past, students in high school and university had to pay a great cost for their tuition. However, nowadays, there are various online classes which are offered at reasonable expense or free. So they can learn and study without spending a lot. Besides, people who are in the low-income bracket do not need to feel burdened. Secondly, such technology can reduce the gap between distance and time effectively. For instance, individuals who live in Korea can take classes using zoom or the lecture recorded in the USA or other continents. Therefore, people always attend class anytime and anywhere. On the other hand, there are several side effects to using a computer for educational purposes. First and foremost, when youngsters study on the internet, they cannot concentrate enough. This is because there are diverse elements which teenagers attract like social network applications or Youtube. Therefore, they would get low academic performance. Furthermore/next/then there is some probability that people cannot keep fit easily. To explain, if people watch on a computer screen for a long time, they would have bad eyesight. when youngsters study on the internet, they cannot concentrate enough. This is because there are diverse elements which teenagers attract like social network applications or Youtube = they would get low academic performance In conclusion, although studying by computer has harmful effects, there are more beneficial effects. In my opinion, people should use computer technology for educational reasons in proper ways.
These days, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in various ways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
means.
However
, there are merits and demerits in utilizing it. I
personally
claim that although it is harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to perform it, there are more advantages
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, using computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is beneficial and convenient.
Firstly
, most students save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
costs, utilizing the internet with a computer.
For example
, in the past, students in high school and university had to pay a great cost for their tuition.
However
, nowadays, there are various online classes which
are offered
at reasonable expense or free.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they can learn and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
without spending a lot.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in the low-income bracket do not need to feel burdened.
Secondly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap between distance and time
effectively
.
For instance
, individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Korea can take classes using zoom or the lecture recorded in the USA or other continents.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always attend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
anytime and anywhere.

On the other hand
, there are several side effects to using a computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
purposes.
First
and foremost, when youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on the internet, they cannot concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are diverse elements which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
attract like social network applications or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
.
Therefore
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low academic performance.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
/
next
/then there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
probability that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit
easily
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on a computer screen for a long time, they would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eyesight.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on the internet, they cannot concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are diverse elements which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
attract like social network applications or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
=

they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low academic performance

In conclusion
, although studying by computer has harmful effects, there are more beneficial effects. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
reasons in proper ways.
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IELTS essay These days, computer technology is used in various ways and people normally use computers for educational means. However, there are merits and demerits in utilizing it. I personally claim that although it is harmful for people who use computers for study to perform it, there are more advantages as well.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • These days, computer technology is used in various ways and people normally use computers for educational means. However, there are merits and demerits in utilizing it. I personally claim that although it is harmful for people who use computers for study to perform it, there are more advantages as well.