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Q - some people think sending children to private secondary school is beneficial, others think that it had negative impact on society . Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Q - some people think sending children to private secondary school is beneficial, others think that it had negative impact on society. Discuss both the views and give your opinion pKodw
Nowadays, private secondary schools are getting more enrollments than of other government or cooperative schools. While some think enrolling children to private secondary school is advantageous, i side with those who think it has not a good impact on society. On the one hand, It is often seen that sending children to private secondary school is beneficial as scholars of private secondary schools get better quality of education as they are more concerned by their tutors owing to the competition with other private secondary schools. For this reason, students of private secondary schools get also get excellent results. Moreover, learners of private secondary schools also get opportunities to participate in various extra curriculum activites which are aside of academics and private secondary schools are also provide some webinars according to interest of the scholars. For instance, if a student has a interest in athletics then school not only help him/her in academics, but also give opportunity to get training from the professional coach. However, private secondary schools are much beneficial. On the other hand, I side with those who think enrolling children to private secondary schools has a negative impact on society. Firstly, Government has provided a lot of funds to their schools for improving their infrastructure and for providing free education to scholars, also. Government launched a new schemes or programme which assurely give a lot of benefits to the scholars of government schools. Although children children who are getting enrollments in private secondary schools may loose all these benefits. It may lead to make a gulf between private secondary school children and government school children because, in private secondary school children of wealthier parents do study whereas poverty stricken parents would not able to pay such hefty fees of private secondary schools for their children's studies therefore it leads to inequality. To conclude, In my opinion sending children to private secondary school has a negative impact on society.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are getting more enrollments than of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or cooperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
enrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is advantageous,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
side with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on society.

On the one hand, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is beneficial as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better quality of education as they are more concerned by their tutors owing to the competition with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
For this reason
, students of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excellent results.
Moreover
, learners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to participate in various extra curriculum
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
which are aside of academics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
webinars according to interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
.
For instance
, if a student has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
interest in athletics then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him/her in academics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
training from the professional coach.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are much beneficial.

On the other hand
, I side with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
enrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
has provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
funds to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for improving their infrastructure and for providing free education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
,
also
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
launched a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "scheme"?
schemes
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
assurely
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are getting enrollments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
all these benefits. It may lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a gulf between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of wealthier parents do study whereas
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
parents would not able to pay such hefty fees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for their children's studies
therefore
it leads to inequality.

To conclude
, In my opinion sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society.
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IELTS essay Q - some people think sending children to private secondary school is beneficial, others think that it had negative impact on society. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Q - some people think sending children to private secondary school is beneficial, others think that it had negative impact on society . Discuss both the views and give your opinion