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These days children spent more time in using computers, laptop and smart phones. It is believed by some people that introduction of technology to children at such a young age is beneficial. Some people believe that traditional games gives more benefit to children . Discuss both the voews and give your own opinion.

These days children spent more time in using computers, laptop and smart phones. It is believed by some people that introduction of technology to children at such a young age is beneficial. Some people believe that traditional games gives more benefit to children. kewBW
In this modern epoch, technology has revolutionized the way of doing every work. Nowadays kids spent more time in front of technological devices such as mobile phones, computers and so on. It is opined by some individuals that knowledge of using devices to children at a young age is very beneficial. However, some people argue that cultural games have more benifits to children. This essay will elaborate both the perspectives along with my opinion. To embark on, some people believe that introduction of technology to children at a young age is good because children can took help of technology for educational purposes. If kids cannot understand the topic in classroom then he can watch the lectures on internet on these technological devices. For instance, in the recent corona pandemic, all the schools, colleges and universities were closed and the study was going online. Therefore, students who knew to use technological devices could able to continue their studies otherwise they had to suffer from educational loss. That is why, technology introduction to children is beneficial. On the other hand, some opine that traditional and outdoor games gives more advantages to children. Firstly, cultural games help the kids to attach with their tradition and they can pass this knowledge to their future generation. Consequently, cultural and traditional values will not extinct in future. Moreover, mostly traditional games are outdoor games such as kabaddi, hockey and so on which helps them in their physical as well as mental well being. For instance, it os concluded from the survey conducted in Vietnam in 2020 that the childre who play more outdoor games have more IQ level and good physical health than the children who spent their whole time on mobile phones. To conclude, both the things are significant in children's life on their own places. However, in my opinion, a child should have a balance in both the traditional games and technology usage.
In this modern epoch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has revolutionized the way of doing every work. Nowadays kids spent more time in front of technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as mobile phones, computers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It
is opined
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that knowledge of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a young age is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will elaborate both the perspectives along with my opinion. To embark on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a young age is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for educational purposes. If kids cannot understand the topic in classroom then he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the lectures on internet on these technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
For instance
, in the recent corona pandemic, all the schools, colleges and universities
were closed
and the study was going online.
Therefore
, students who knew to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
to continue their studies
otherwise
they had to suffer from educational loss.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
introduction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is beneficial.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
gives more advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the kids to attach with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tradition and
they can pass this knowledge to their future generation.
Consequently
, cultural and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values will not extinct
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Moreover
,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
kabaddi
, hockey and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in their physical
as well
as mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
For instance
,
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
concluded from the survey conducted in Vietnam in 2020 that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childre
who play more outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have more IQ level and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical health than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spent their whole time on mobile phones.
To conclude
, both the things are significant in children's life on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
places.
However
, in my opinion, a child should have a balance in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
usage.
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IELTS essay These days children spent more time in using computers, laptop and smart phones. It is believed by some people that introduction of technology to children at such a young age is beneficial. Some people believe that traditional games gives more benefit to children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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