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These days, according to the world modernization, the question whether human are more reliant on their peers or not still remains a hot matter of debate. Personally, i believe that the way people live are more self-reliant.

These days, according to the world modernization, the question whether human are more reliant on their peers or not still remains a hot matter of debate. Personally, i believe that the way people live are more self-reliant. Ql2NK
These days, according to the world modernization, the question whether human are more reliant on their peers or not still remains a hot matter of debate. Personally, i believe that the way people live are more self-reliant. On the one side, there are various reasons ehy people tend to depend on others. Firstly, as multiple developments in life standard, the societies become more complex and expensive. Therefore, teenagers and those who do not have a job cannot afford for their own such as high-rise education and accommodations, may live on parents income. Secondly, in contrast to school students, the one who already have occupations have to based loosely on their colleagues. For instance, co-workers can reap ample benefits from being hamonize and helpful with others for longing have more job prospects in the future or the employment of the dependence on the personel for the aim to enhance their own enterprises. On the other side, i thouroughly of the opinion that a progress of the world has made people free and less reliant on others. One reason is that since the technological breakthrough increase dramatically, young generations have higher probabilities in satisfying their desires. To illustrate, youngsters have freedom to believe and develop to become indivisualistic in society such as the attitude towards life and their aptitude. Furthermore, the advances in medicines and health care services have made the elderly less count on caregivers or even their family. As a reult, they not only living heathily and having increased life expectancy, but also have significant change in lifestyle like open a wider range of activities, leading more exciting routine. The conclusion to be drawn is that although some specific situations, people become independent day by day as their progressive outlooks in this day and age.
These days, according to the world modernization,
the question whether
human are more reliant on their peers or not
still
remains a hot matter of debate.
Personally
,
i
believe that the way
people
live
are more self-reliant.

On the one side, there are various reasons
ehy
people
tend to depend on others.
Firstly
, as multiple developments in life standard, the societies become more complex and expensive.
Therefore
,
teenagers
and those who do not have a job cannot afford for their
own
such as high-rise education and accommodations, may
live
on parents income.
Secondly
,
in contrast
to school students, the one who already have occupations
have to
based
loosely
on their colleagues.
For instance
, co-workers can reap ample benefits from being
hamonize
and helpful with others for longing have more job prospects in the future or the employment of the dependence on the
personel
for the aim to enhance their
own
enterprises.

On the
other
side, i
thouroughly
of the opinion that
a progress
of the world has made
people
free and less reliant on others. One reason is that since the technological breakthrough increase
dramatically
, young generations have higher probabilities in satisfying their desires. To illustrate, youngsters have freedom to believe and develop to become
indivisualistic
in society such as the attitude towards life and their aptitude.
Furthermore
, the advances in medicines and health care services have made the elderly less count on caregivers or even their family. As a
reult
, they not
only
living
heathily
and having increased life expectancy,
but
also
have significant
change
in lifestyle like open a wider range of activities, leading more exciting routine.

The conclusion to
be drawn
is that although
some
specific situations,
people
become independent day by day as their progressive outlooks in this day and age.
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IELTS essay These days, according to the world modernization, the question whether human are more reliant on their peers or not still remains a hot matter of debate. Personally, i believe that the way people live are more self-reliant.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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