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Many people argue that being a celebrity will bring many advantages and disadvantages to them. I also think a celebrity will get many advantages and certainly, he or she will get many disadvantages in his or her life.

Many people argue that being a celebrity will bring many advantages and disadvantages to them. I also think a celebrity will get many advantages and certainly, he or she will get many disadvantages in his or her life. PLWYg
Many people argue that being a celebrity will bring many advantages and disadvantages to them. I also think a celebrity will get many advantages and certainly, he or she will get many disadvantages in his or her life. Firstly, they had to spend a long time in practicing and working, besides that, they had to have ability and luck to become a celebrity. Certainly, they will earn much money when they become celebrities. Advertisement shows, film’s roles, musical shows, all of them will bring much money and high income for celebrities. For instance, singer Dam Vinh Hung can easy to earn 100 billion VND for each musical show. Earing much money, they can easy to buy expensive and beautiful houses, they can also buy many facilities such as luxurious cars, cruise, watches, jewelry. For examples, singer Thuy Tien is owning many expensive and beautiful estates at Ho Chi Minh City However, a celebrity also gets a lot of problems or troubles in their life. They can not easy go out and enjoy outdoor activities, they have to be careful because they can be attacked every time they go out by anti-fans so they always need the guards beside them. Besides that, they are also noticed about their personal life, talk and work. With any minor fault, such as fashion, clothes, so on. They will be noticed by anti-fans and fans or other people. For examples, a famous singer was gotten many troubles after an information was discovered that relate to his love story and it quickly becomes the main subject on newspaper and social media. When a celebrity get a minor fault, he can lost a reputation and it will be hard for him to restore. Finally, being a celebrity is very hard with a person. Money, reputation, wealth and troubles, problems will be happened in their life. They have to face with these troubles carefully and should use their reputation, money for the significant activities such as helping people, becoming a good mirror for the young people in life and morals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages to them. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and
certainly
, he or she will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life.

Firstly
, they had to spend a long time in practicing and working,
besides
that, they had to have ability and luck to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.
Certainly
, they will earn much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, film’s roles, musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, all of them will bring much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and high income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
For instance
, singer Dam
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
Hung can easy to earn 100 billion VND for each musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Earing
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they can easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities such as luxurious cars, cruise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
, jewelry. For examples, singer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tien
The verb 'owning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is owning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
estates at Ho Chi Minh City

However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
troubles
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They can not
The word "easy" is an adjective and doesn't fit in this context. Did you mean the adverb "easily"?
easy
go out and enjoy outdoor activities, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
be attacked
every time they go out by anti-fans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they always need the guards beside them.
Besides
that, they are
also
noticed about their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, talk and work. With any minor fault, such as fashion, clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They will
be noticed
by anti-fans and fans or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For examples, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer
was gotten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
troubles
after an information
was discovered
that relate to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
story and it
quickly
becomes the main subject on newspaper and social media. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "gets".
get
a minor fault, he can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
a reputation and it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for him to restore.

Finally
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
with a person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
, reputation, wealth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
troubles
, problems will
be happened
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
troubles
carefully
and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their reputation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the significant activities such as helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, becoming a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mirror for the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and morals.
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IELTS essay Many people argue that being a celebrity will bring many advantages and disadvantages to them. I also think a celebrity will get many advantages and certainly, he or she will get many disadvantages in his or her life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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