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there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries

there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries E32JM
Nowadays, Medical are rapidly develop that are reduce proportion of dead. It is clear that there are a number of beneficial aspects for more older than past, however, It also comes with detrimental side. The following paragraphs will outline, in some detail, on both side related to the topic. there are a host of beneficial for senior citizen. It is important in their experience thoughtout their lifes. Adults and teenagers are eucated to histories, to wrong way and right way to future lifes by them. After that young people can be improve themselives by olders mistake. for instance, in past many time, when we have problems and we can not to solve it, first thing of most people are adviced by older people Although, there are a few beneficial for older socity, some detrimental can be identified. most companies unnecessary recieved a new people for their team because it not vacant to job posting. And sometime, it maybe spend a lot of money to medical fee for them. for example, the government should spend a lot money to develop their countries more than to take care old boys. In conclusion, not only does older people provide benefit to soceity, but also it can easily to negative aspects, if a higher proportion older are increase, adult and teenager will not vacant to employment.
Nowadays, Medical are
rapidly
develop
that are
reduce
proportion of dead. It is
clear
that there are a number of beneficial aspects for more
older
than past,
however
, It
also
comes
with detrimental side. The following paragraphs will outline, in
some
detail, on both side related to the topic.

there
are a
host
of beneficial for senior citizen. It is
important
in their experience
thoughtout
their
lifes
. Adults and
teenagers
are
eucated
to histories, to
wrong
way and right way to future
lifes
by them.
After
that young
people
can be
improve
themselives
by
olders
mistake.

for
instance, in past
many time
, when we have
problems and
we can not to solve it,
first
thing of most
people
are
adviced
by
older
people


Although, there are a few beneficial for
older
socity
,
some
detrimental can
be identified
.

most
companies
unnecessary
recieved
a new
people
for their team
because
it
not vacant to job posting. And sometime, it maybe
spend
a lot of
money to medical fee for them.
for
example, the
government
should spend
a lot money
to develop their countries more than to take care
old
boys.

In conclusion
, not
only
does
older
people
provide benefit to
soceity
,
but
also
it can
easily
to
negative
aspects, if a higher proportion
older
are increase, adult and
teenager
will not vacant to employment.
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IELTS essay there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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