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What problems do children face in today's world? What should we do to address or solve these problems?

What problems do children face in today's world? What should we do to address or solve these problems? 15Jrq
Children in a modern society have many pros and cons. There are others reasons for problems that should be addressed by their parents. It is clear that children nowadays must be studied so much that they do not aware of all people around such as: friends, relatives, and etc. Parents always busy with their jobs and do not have free time to talk with a child, they go to work very early in the morning and go home when a child sleeps so that they do not know that how their kids are in all days. Children nowadays studies too much lead to feel but stressed their parents sign up extra classes of many subjects for them, homework in the school has a lot, many tests in different kind of subjects in school. Some children will feel there are many pressures so they do not want to study and move to play games on the internet. When they play in a long time, they are addicted but if their parents do not care about them, they grow up to be a bad kid. To solve this problems, education should bring some solution to schools to educate students very suitable so that they will not feel too stressed and scared about study. Parents arrange their works reasonable in order to spend more times on their children and understand what they need. Parents can also install software to block the access of violent and porn contents. In conclusion, children's problems can be solved easily if parents care about their kids and control activies of them on electronic devices and their children will have a brilliant future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
in a modern society have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons. There are others reasons for problems that should
be addressed
by their parents.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that they do not aware of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around such as: friends, relatives,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
always busy with their jobs and do not have free time to talk with a child, they go to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early in the morning and go home when a child sleeps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not know that how their kids are in all days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
nowadays studies too much lead to feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
up extra classes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects for them, homework in the school has a lot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of subjects in school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will feel there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pressures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not want to study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to play games on the internet. When they play in a long time, they
are addicted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not care about them, they grow up to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
kid.

To solve
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems, education should bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to schools to educate students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
suitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not feel too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and scared about study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
arrange their works reasonable in order to spend more times on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and understand what they need.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can
also
install software to block the access of violent and porn contents.

In conclusion
, children's problems can
be solved
easily
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
care about their kids and control
Possible spelling mistake found.
activies
of them on electronic devices and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have a brilliant future.
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IELTS essay What problems do children face in today's world? What should we do to address or solve these problems?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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