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There should be security cameras everywhere such as streets, stations, shops and other public places

There should be security cameras everywhere such as streets, stations, shops and other public places QLAQ1
Security cameras are found everywhere in our lives with the developing technology. Security cameras can be used to deter crime, to monitor workplace activities, gather evidence. In my opinion, security cameras should be everywhere for our safety. To begin with, crime prevention can be one of the most obvious and most important benefits of security cameras. From the moment these cameras are placed, they instill confidence in people and they feel psychologically confident that the thief will not enter, in fact, the security cameras have been reflected in the statistics that significantly reduce crime. For the thief from the other side, someone watching you and the fear of being caught red-handed is one of the biggest deterrent methods. For example, when the thief wants to rob a grocery store, the security camera discourages him. Secondly, security cameras can also be used for inspection purposes in workplaces. This method is a method applied by the manager or the director. By using this method, it can increase the work efficiency of the employees and cause them to be interested only in their work while working. In addition, the control and stages of the produced product can be easily controlled. For example, with this method, a manager can easily monitor the production paths of a bread. On the other hand, some people disagree on the grounds that security cameras restrict their freedom and at the same time prevent their privacy. However, I strongly disagree with this view because I think nothing is better than people's safety, and it should not be superior All in all, security cameras are an invention that is everywhere in our lives, making people feel safe and preventing crimes to a great extent. That's why security cameras should be everywhere in our lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everywhere
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with the developing technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, to monitor workplace activities, gather evidence. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everywhere
for our safety.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention can be one of the most obvious and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
. From the moment these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are placed
, they instill confidence in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they feel
psychologically
confident that the thief will not enter, in fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
have
been reflected
in the statistics that
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. For the thief from the other side, someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "watches", "watched".
watching
you and the fear of
being caught
red-handed is one of the biggest deterrent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
.
For example
, when the thief wants to rob a grocery store, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
discourages him.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for inspection purposes in workplaces. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
applied by the manager or the director. By using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
, it can increase the work efficiency of the employees and cause them to
be interested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their work while working.
In addition
, the control and stages of the produced product can be
easily
controlled.
For example
, with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
, a manager can
easily
monitor the production paths of
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "bread".
a bread
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree on the grounds that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
restrict their freedom and at the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their privacy.
However
, I
strongly
disagree with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
nothing is better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's safety, and it should not be superior

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are an invention
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everywhere
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel safe and preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to a great extent. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everywhere
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay There should be security cameras everywhere such as streets, stations, shops and other public places

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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