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There is such an opinion that news and media influence people’s lives in a beneficial way.

There is such an opinion that news and media influence people’s lives in a beneficial way. Pmlw
There is such an opinion that news and media influence people’s lives in a beneficial way. However, some people disagree with this statement and say it is wrong. I contended that there are indisputable advantages of news and media in our lives. On the one hand, many would argue that the media is one of the most important sources of entertainment and inspiration that brings happiness to ordinary people. For instance, having fun by discussing the latest gossip from the lives of world celebrities, reading reviews of films and books, and watching interviews with interesting personalities plays an important role in giving people a great opportunity to escape from their problems after a hard day. The same could be said about articles with good news, such as finding a cure for a previously incurable disease, new scientific advances, and so on. It all inspires people to do good deeds. On the other hand, it is hard to deny that the news is full of articles that scare and disappoint people. Take for example statistics on coronavirus in the world that were published everywhere. People panicked and were extremely saddened, as every day the television broadcast about new plowing of covid-19. Besides, reading the news about wars and terrorist attacks, people lose hope in a bright future and start, thinking only negatively, expect the worst. In conclusion, while conceding to the fact news and media can have a negative impact on humans' lives. I strongly believe that they just notify people about events happening in the world and still bring people happiness and entertainment.
There is such an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Consider replacing "in a beneficial way" with the adverb for "beneficial"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a beneficial way
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this statement and say it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. I contended that there are indisputable advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sources of entertainment and inspiration that brings happiness to ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, having fun by discussing the latest gossip from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of world celebrities, reading reviews of films and books, and watching interviews with interesting personalities plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a great opportunity to escape from their problems after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day. The same could
be said
about articles with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, such as finding a cure for a previously incurable disease,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
scientific advances, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It all inspires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to deny that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is full of articles that scare and disappoint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Take
for example
statistics on coronavirus in the world that
were published
everywhere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
panicked and were
extremely
saddened, as every day the television broadcast about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
plowing of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
.

Besides
, reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about wars and terrorist attacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose hope in a bright future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
negatively
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the worst.

In conclusion
, while conceding to the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on humans'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
strongly
believe that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
notify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happening in the world and
still
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happiness and entertainment.
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IELTS essay There is such an opinion that news and media influence people’s lives in a beneficial way.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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