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There is policy to let students pay for their studies after they graduate. Do you think it is good policy? Why or why not?

There is policy to let students pay for their studies after they graduate. Do you think it is good policy? Why or why not? 0MDqO
Students all over the world compete to enroll in top universities, but not everyone can do that and not everyone has opportunity to do it so. Everyone is different and everyone is trying to have the best in his/her lives, which also includes best education. Unfortunately, because of different reasons such as financial, health, and living condition problems not everyone is able to enroll in their dream universities. In my opinion that policy, which suggests students to pay their studies after they graduate is a great idea, because of different reasons, that I will try to examine below for argument. First of all, i thinks that, this policy, which helps students to pay for their own studies after they graduate, gives them opportunity to enroll in their dream universities. Like I said before, not everyone is able to apply for their dream universities, because of financial difficulties and this policy give them exactly that chance. After students graduate, they start full time work, especially if they go to famous universities and graduate, they are guaranteed to have high paid jobs, and with that they are able to pay for their own studies. So, I think that, this policy helps student a lot especially it helps their dreams to become true. In the second place, I believe that paying student for their own studies after they graduate, gives them more confidence in themselves, more desire to live on their own and be independent. It very important for adults to learn as fast as they can how to be on one’s own and independent, because this helps them to know the values of life, and to understand that success doesn’t come to you so easily, without hard work. Because of that I personally fancy that idea for student to pay their own education and studies on their own after they graduate. Last but not least, I realize that paying for studies prepares you for life. Living your best life is not easy for people, but you can take it easy, because this helps people to overcome obstacles. So I think that life preparation as early as you can is the best way to understand the real taste of life. To conclude, I would like to say that policy to let students pay for their studies after they graduate is really great idea. It is acceptable not only for students but also for their parents, because it helps students to enroll for their dream collage, learn independence and being on their own.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
all over the world compete to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enroll
in top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
can do that and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
has opportunity to do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Everyone
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
is trying to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
in his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, which
also
includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
education. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons such as financial, health, and living condition problems not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
is able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enroll
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. In my opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
, which suggests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after they
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graduate
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons, that I will try to examine below for argument.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
, which
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helps
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students
to
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pay
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
, gives them opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enroll
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Like I said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
is able to apply for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of financial difficulties and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
give them exactly that chance. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
full time work,
especially
if they go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
, they
are guaranteed
to have high paid jobs, and with that they are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
a lot
especially
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
to become true.

In the second place, I believe that paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
, gives them more confidence in themselves, more desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and be independent.
It seems that a verb is missing.
It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for adults to learn as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as they
Please check whether a verb is missing here.
can how
to be on one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and independent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to know the values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and to understand that success doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easily
, without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that I
personally
fancy that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
after they graduate.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I realize that paying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
prepares you for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Living your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can take it easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to overcome obstacles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
preparation as early as
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'you'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
you can
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to understand the real taste of life.

To conclude
, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
is
really
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. It is acceptable not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enroll
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
collage, learn independence and being on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
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IELTS essay There is policy to let students pay for their studies after they graduate. Do you think it is good policy? Why or why not?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
419 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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