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Some one believe that college students choosing to live away from home while another think that they should stay with their parents.

Some one believe that college students choosing to live away from home while another think that they should stay with their parents. mLdeO
Nowadays, college students choosing to live away from home is becoming a well-liked problem in society. From my personal perspective, I am totally convinced that students who live far from home bring more benefits for their life. First and foremost, living far from home plays a pivotal role to help college students become more mature. Actually, this is a chance for learners to stand on their own feet and be responsible for their own life. A particularly good example here is that individuals have to do everything by themself when they were a freshman. If college students still live with their parents, they can not realize what they can do by themself and what the value of earning money is. Living far from home can lead to a multitude of impediments but this is of paramount self-reliance lesson importance for students. Additionally, living far from home brings knowledge to control health, diet, personal budgets and enhance their problem-solving skills. In reality, college students have several skills and knowledge just get when they live without parents. Take the ability to control spending, for example, they have to control their budget enough for fixed time which is usually a month. With this living experience, if students wanted to spend lavishly, they would have to consider finances instead of spending comfortably like at home. As a result, college students would spend in a planned way and also foster financial savings. All in all, I firmly believe that living away from home has a beneficial impact on human maturation and promotes their living skills.
Nowadays, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
away from home is becoming a well-liked problem in society. From my personal perspective, I am
totally
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from home bring more benefits for their life.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from home plays a pivotal role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more mature. Actually, this is a chance for learners to stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feet and be responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example
Did you mean "here are that individuals"?
here is that individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do everything by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
when they were a freshman. If college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their parents, they can not realize what they can do by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
and what the value of earning money is.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from home can lead to a multitude of impediments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is of paramount self-reliance lesson importance for students.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from home brings knowledge to control health, diet, personal budgets and enhance their problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In reality, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without parents. Take the ability to control spending,
for example
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control their budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
time which is
usually
a month. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
experience, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wanted to spend
lavishly
, they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider finances
instead
of spending
comfortably
like at home.
As a result
, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would spend in a planned way and
also
foster financial savings.

All in all, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home has a beneficial impact on human maturation and promotes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Some one believe that college students choosing to live away from home while another think that they should stay with their parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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