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When it comes to bringing up children, opinions are various on what methods are effective, however,

When it comes to bringing up children, opinions are various on what methods are effective, however, PM88E
When it comes to bringing up children, opinions are various on what methods are effective, however, several experts have offered three ways including limiting tv programs, talking to children, and monitoring friendship. among the factors, I think that the second solution stands up as an important place. I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraphs. to begin with, as compared to other alternatives, speaking with kids are a friendly way. nowadays young children have gotten more intelligent than years ago. since they easily ignore any limitation and find a way to overcome it. nevertheless, even if parents constrain them not to see a special series of cartoons or they monitor offsprings' friends, they secretly do what they want. in fact, they behave aggressively and greedily when they enforced or ban doing a thing. in this circumstance, fathers or mothers have no way in except spending much time with their offspring to being friends. in fact, little boys or girls are thirsty for love. making a friendship help to understand better them and make a background to convey any experience among family member. in this situation, teenagers accept their parent's suggestions and strive to follow them. besides, interacting family' member help personal advancement. in the first stages of the human lifespan, individuals want to be independent. they tend to make independent decisions on how to behave, selecting a friend. hence selecting other alternatives poses a threat to their personality development. because parents interfere in decisions that they make it. on the contrary, talking with children allow their parent to share experience and give children opportunity to select the best route. factoring to above mentioned it draws the conclusion that talking with children is the best way to encourage them to adjust the worst behavior
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to bringing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, opinions are various on what methods are effective,
however
, several experts have offered three ways including limiting
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
programs, talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and monitoring friendship.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
among
the factors, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the second solution stands up as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place. I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as compared to other alternatives, speaking with kids are a friendly way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have gotten more intelligent than years ago.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
any limitation and find a way to overcome it.
nevertheless
, even if parents constrain them not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a special series of
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cartoons or
they monitor
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
' friends, they
secretly
do what they want.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
fact, they behave
aggressively
and
greedily
when they enforced or ban doing a thing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this circumstance, fathers or mothers have no way in except spending much time with their offspring to being friends.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
in
fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boys or girls are thirsty for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
making
a friendship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to understand better them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a background to convey any experience among family member.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this situation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
accept their parent's suggestions and strive to follow them.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
, interacting family' member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
personal advancement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
first
stages of the human lifespan, individuals want to be independent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
independent decisions on how to behave, selecting a friend.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
selecting other alternatives poses a threat to their personality development.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
parents interfere in decisions that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it.
on the contrary
, talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their parent to share experience and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
opportunity to select the best route.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
factoring
to above mentioned it draws the conclusion that talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the best way to encourage them to adjust the worst behavior
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IELTS essay When it comes to bringing up children, opinions are various on what methods are effective, however,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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