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There is on increosing omount of odverlising direcled ol children, which encouroges lhem lo buy goods such os loys ond snocks. Mony porenfs ore worried fhot lhese odverlisemenfs pul loo much pressure on children, while some odverfisers cloim lhol lhey provide useful informolion lo children Discuss bofh views ond give you opinion.

There is on increosing omount of odverlising direcled ol children, which encouroges lhem lo buy goods such os loys ond snocks. Mony porenfs ore worried fhot lhese odverlisemenfs pul loo much pressure on children, while some odverfisers cloim lhol lhey provide useful informolion lo children Discuss bofh views ond give you opinion. WqNEK
In this modern contemporary era advertisement is most popular source for attract the people to purchase new product. Mostly children fascinate to buy toys and games which advertise they watch. While some people believe that advertisement saw negative impact on child. I agree with those who feel that advertisement is great source to collect information. On the one hand, there are Several complelig reaon why some people claim that adverts manipulate the children to purchase unnecessary toys. First of all children are innocent in nature. Adverts easily allure kids by sawing colorful poster of toys and mouthwatering fast food. As a result children temptation to eat junk food and play with expensive toys. Which is out of budget for their paren6. For example, mostly all children love to eat chocolate they want to try and by consuming more amount of chocolate in smaller kids suffering from cavities. despite the above argument I believe that by watching advertise kids can collect knowledge regarding the products which are recently publish in market. The first reason to give support my view is several games are need to utilize the brain for solving it like puzzle, sudoku. While children saw that advertisement they Motivat to play and by playing those game their mind is develop. To exmplify, according to one research which held in USA around 80% kids who play puzzle games their memory power is forth as compare to other child. Another reason is children awar the outer world by sawing advertisement. In addition some advertisement incarage children to consume milk with bourvita, horlex and other flavors. For instance mostly child do no like to eat fruits but while they saw in adverse several kids eat that then child fascinate to eat health food. To conclusions, although, some advertisement have detrimental affect on children mind but threw the adverts child can collect information about different products which is good for their growth so, I personally opine that advertisement is great way to get the new product information.
In this modern contemporary era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular source for attract the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fascinate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which advertise they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is great source to collect information.

On the one hand, there are Several
Possible spelling mistake found.
complelig
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaon
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that adverts manipulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are innocent in nature. Adverts
easily
allure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
by sawing colorful poster of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and mouthwatering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
temptation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
junk food and play with expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
. Which is out of budget for their paren6.
For example
,
mostly
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
chocolate they want to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
by consuming more amount of chocolate in smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
suffering from cavities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
despite
the above argument I believe that by watching advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can collect knowledge regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are recently
Consider using a past participle here: "published".
publish
in market. The
first
reason to give support my view is several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are need
to utilize the brain for solving it like puzzle,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sudoku
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
Motivat
to play and by playing those game their mind is
Consider using a past participle here: "developed".
develop
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
exmplify
, according to one research which held
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
around 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who play puzzle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
their memory power is forth as compare to other child.

Another reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
awar
the outer world by sawing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
Possible spelling mistake found.
incarage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to consume milk with
Possible spelling mistake found.
bourvita
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
horlex
and other flavors.
For instance
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
do no like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
fruits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
in adverse several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
that then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
fascinate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
health food.

To conclusions, although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
have detrimental
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
threw the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "adverts'" or "advert's"?
adverts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can collect information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I
personally
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a great".
great
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
information.
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IELTS essay There is on increosing omount of odverlising direcled ol children, which encouroges lhem lo buy goods such os loys ond snocks. Mony porenfs ore worried fhot lhese odverlisemenfs pul loo much pressure on children, while some odverfisers cloim lhol lhey provide useful informolion lo children Discuss bofh views ond give you opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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