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Example Essay "Competition in the Classroom"

Example Essay "Competition in the Classroom" pam1y
The lecture challenges the assumptions in the reading passage, presenting the benefits of competition in the classroom. According to the lecturer, higher motivation, productivity, and fun do not justify competitive classrooms. First, although high achievers may be motivated by competing with their classmates, most students experience performance anxiety before the competition, and low self-esteem when they don't win. According to the professor, cheating, fear, and antagonism often occur as a result of competition in the classroom. Next, the professor cites research by Kohn in which he looked at 122 studies of cooperation in the classroom. In half of the studies, productivity was higher in a cooperative classroom, and in a quarter of the studies, there was no difference between the levels of productivity in cooperative and competitive classrooms. Last, the lecture discredits the idea that a competitive classroom is fun, specifically that games and sports like spelling bees and science projects are more interesting and entertaining. The professor argues that in the past, it was fun to play, but currently, the emphasis is on winning, and it is only fun for those who manage to beat their fellow students in the competition. The lecture makes a case for students having the opportunity to compete against themselves to improve their scores
The lecture challenges the assumptions in the reading passage, presenting the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in the classroom. According to the lecturer, higher motivation, productivity, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fun
do not justify

competitive classrooms.

First
, although high achievers may
be motivated
by competing with their classmates, most students

experience performance anxiety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, and low self-esteem when they don't win.

According to the professor, cheating, fear, and antagonism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occur
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in the

classroom.

Next
, the professor cites research by Kohn in which he looked at 122 studies of cooperation in the

classroom. In half of the studies, productivity was higher in a cooperative classroom, and in a quarter of

the studies, there was no difference between the levels of productivity in cooperative and competitive

classrooms.

Last, the lecture discredits the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that a competitive classroom is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fun
,
specifically
that games

and sports like spelling bees and science projects are more interesting and entertaining. The professor

argues that in the past, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fun
to play,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
currently
, the emphasis is on winning, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fun
for

those who manage to beat their fellow students in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. The lecture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a case for students having the opportunity to compete against themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
scores
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IELTS essay Example Essay "Competition in the Classroom"

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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