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some people believe that animals should be exploited. discuss both views and give your opinion

some people believe that animals should be exploited. discuss both views and give your opinion DYPY6
The exploitation of animals by humans has become a contentious issue. Some people believed that animals should not be exploited and that humans should treat animals fairly. Others, on the other side, believe that animals should be used to help people in a variety of ways, such as as a source of food or for medical tests. The next essay will go through both points of view in detail, however in my opinion, animals can be used as a source of food or to aid humans in a fair and equitable way, and humans should treat each other with respect. On the one hand, some people believe that because animals are living organisms, mankind does not have the right to exploit them. True, animals exist by following their senses, but they have the same emotions as people, therefore manipulating them would be wrong. It has been reported in many cases that some of the cows screamed before being murdered in the butcher, demonstrating that they had the same feelings as humans. In another example, some of the animals were neglected by their masters despite the fact that they had been heavily exploited, forcing them can become sick or wounded. Nevertheless, it is clear that humans require the support of animals in a number of ways. To start with, humans require the assistance of some animals in the manufacture and availability of food. Farmers in many nations use cows, buffalos, or horses to produce their farms, and certain dairy farm animals, such as chickens and sheep, are slaughtered for their meat. There would be a humanity concern if these creatures did not exist, such as a shortage of food sources and human starving. Second, for the good of mankind, certain animals are employed in scientific studies or diagnostic tests. Several novel drugs are now being studied in mice or monkeys before being tried on humans. Thousands of human lives have been saved as a result of these experiments, which may appear to be barbaric. Lastly, different people have differing perspectives about animal exploitation. Some individuals agree with the concept, while others don't. Employing or using animals to assist people, in my opinion, is not an issue as long as we exploit them in a reasonable manner. Many farmers, for example, use animals as field assistants, and the animals should be treated properly for and supplied.
The exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
has become a contentious issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
fairly
. Others, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a variety of ways, such
Possible typo: you repeated a word
as as
a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or for medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. The
next
essay will go through both points of view in detail,
however
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or to aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and equitable way, and
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humans
should treat each
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other
with respect.

On the one hand,
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some
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people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are living organisms, mankind does not have the right to exploit them. True,
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animals
exist by following their senses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the same emotions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
manipulating them would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. It has
been reported
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
cows screamed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being murdered
in the butcher, demonstrating that they had the same feelings as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. In another example,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
were neglected
by their masters despite the fact that they had been
heavily
exploited, forcing them can become sick or wounded.

Nevertheless
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
require the support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a number of ways. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
require the assistance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the manufacture and availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Farmers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cows,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "buffalo", the plural form of the noun 'buffalo'?
buffalos
, or horses to produce their farms, and certain dairy farm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, such as chickens and sheep,
are slaughtered
for their meat. There would be a humanity concern if these creatures did not exist, such as a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
starving. Second, for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of mankind, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are employed
in scientific studies or diagnostic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. Several novel drugs are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being studied
in mice or monkeys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being tried
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
been saved
as a result
of these experiments, which may appear to be barbaric.

Lastly
,
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have differing
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
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animal
exploitation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the concept, while others don't. Employing or using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in my opinion, is not an issue as long as we exploit them
Consider replacing "in a reasonable manner" with the adverb for "reasonable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a reasonable manner
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
farmers,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as field assistants, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
properly
for and supplied.
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IELTS essay some people believe that animals should be exploited. discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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