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There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives. Do you agree or disagree with this statment?

There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives. with this statment? qp9a
Maintaining a strong bond between distant families will be a challenge. Some people believe that keeping in regular contact with distant family members is unnecessary, because of the distance. In my opinion I strongly disagree with this assertation, bacause I believe maintaining a close relationship with distant cousins is entirely necessary because it provides many advantages. To begin with, close connection with distant folks would not to be a problem, because family is the backbone of every person. In other words, distance would not a barrier if they have a strong ties with eachother, and the family provides love and harmony other members. Moreover, with the prevelence of the sophisticated technology, it is more convenient to communicate frequently through the video call, most especially whe these relatives living in abroad or raraway. For example, nowadays majority of people connect with their beloved ones through skype or whatsApp video call in their free time, which reduce their remoteness, and increase their mutual understanding with other family members. Therefore, communucating through video calls overcomes ditance barrier and strengthens bonds among relatives. Another logical reason for connecting with long-distance folks is because it opens life-changing opportunities in career and education such as immigrating to amother country. To put simply this, by reaching out to distant family members, offers vast myriad chance of obtaining an employment and becoming a permanent resident if possible. Furthermore, regular contacting this connection have offered possibilities of enjoying a vacation or become a onshore students. For example, Australia offers higer points to immigrants who have family relationsthat are living or working in Australia. Hence, keeping stronger ties with distant family members can be quite beneficial when people have an idea toapply permanent Residence in other countries. In conclusion, maintaining a strong relationship with other distant people have a positive influence on everyone, because family is essential in the siciety. In my opinion, people should keeping a close ties with their every distant families.
Maintaining a strong bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
will be a challenge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that keeping in regular contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is unnecessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the distance. In my opinion I
strongly
disagree with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
assertation
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bacause
I believe maintaining a close relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
cousins is
entirely
necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, close connection with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
folks would not to be a problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the backbone of every person. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, distance would not a barrier if they have a strong
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "tie"?
ties
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and harmony
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
Moreover
, with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
prevelence
of the sophisticated technology, it is more convenient to communicate
frequently
through the video call, most
especially
Possible spelling mistake found.
whe
these relatives living in abroad or
Possible spelling mistake found.
raraway
.
For example
, nowadays
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect with their beloved ones through skype or
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsApp
video call in their free time, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their remoteness, and increase their mutual understanding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
communucating
through video calls overcomes
Possible spelling mistake found.
ditance
barrier and strengthens bonds among relatives.

Another logical reason for connecting with long-distance folks is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it opens life-changing opportunities in career and education such as immigrating to
Possible spelling mistake found.
amother
country. To put
simply
this, by reaching out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, offers vast myriad chance of obtaining an employment and becoming a permanent resident if possible.
Furthermore
, regular contacting this connection have offered possibilities of enjoying a vacation or become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
onshore
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "student"?
students
.
For example
, Australia offers
Possible spelling mistake found.
higer
points to immigrants who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
relationsthat
are living or working in Australia.
Hence
, keeping stronger ties with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can be quite beneficial when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
Possible spelling mistake found.
toapply
permanent Residence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

In conclusion
, maintaining a strong relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is essential in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
siciety
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "keep"
keeping
a close ties with their every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
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IELTS essay There is no need to maintain a close relationship with distant relatives. with this statment?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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