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There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? v.6

There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? v. 6
It is widely accepted that global warming is a result of the human activities. Extensive industrialisation and logging of trees are the main causes for this global rise in temperatures. This can be dealt with planting trees and by reducing usage of vehicles. Firstly, in the past few years there was a significant increase in the number of manufacturing companies. These industries emit certain toxic gases to the atmosphere resulting in damage to the Ozone layer. As a result, harmful radiations can easily penetrate the atmosphere and cause variations in temperature. For instance, statistics reveal there is an increase by 25% in the number of new companies compared to the last decade. Secondly, deforestation has been extensive in the recent past. The trees and plants emit oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide, so this vicious cycle is disturbed, resulting in the accumulation of unwanted hazardous gases in the environment. Further, this contributes to the reduced rainfall, which may ultimately cause global warming. However, the problem can be fixed by planting the trees. Though ozone depletion is an irreversible change, but further damage can be reduced. In addition, the entire eco-system will become balanced. This can be achieved for example, by giving a plant sampling as a return gift in the occasions like birthdays and marriages. Another solution is to cut down the manufacturing of vehicles, so that emissions from the cars and motorbikes can be drastically reduced. People must be encouraged to walk more often than using these vehicles. To conclude, global warming is a result of extensive industries and deforestation, which can be resolved by encouraging people to plant more trees and walk often instead of using personal vehicles.
It is
widely
accepted
that
global
warming is a result of the human activities. Extensive
industrialisation
and logging of
trees
are the main causes for this
global
rise in temperatures. This can
be dealt
with planting
trees
and by reducing usage of vehicles.

Firstly
, in the past few years there was a significant increase in the number of manufacturing
companies
. These industries emit certain toxic gases to the atmosphere resulting in damage to the Ozone layer.
As a result
, harmful radiations can
easily
penetrate the atmosphere and cause variations in temperature.
For instance
, statistics reveal there is an increase by 25% in the number of new
companies
compared to the last decade.
Secondly
, deforestation has been extensive in the recent past. The
trees
and plants emit oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide,
so
this vicious cycle
is disturbed
, resulting in the accumulation of unwanted hazardous gases in the environment.
Further
, this contributes to the
reduced
rainfall, which may
ultimately
cause
global
warming.

However
, the problem can be
fixed
by planting the
trees
. Though ozone depletion is an irreversible
change
,
but
further
damage can be
reduced
.
In addition
, the entire
eco-system
will become balanced. This can
be achieved
for example
, by giving a plant sampling as a return gift in the occasions like birthdays and marriages. Another solution is to
cut
down the manufacturing of vehicles,
so
that emissions from the cars and motorbikes can be
drastically
reduced
.
People
must
be encouraged
to walk more
often
than using these vehicles.

To conclude
,
global
warming is a result of extensive industries and deforestation, which can
be resolved
by encouraging
people
to plant more
trees
and walk
often
instead
of using personal vehicles.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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