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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are most interested. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are most interested. v. 2
It has become a debatable topic that whether teenager should focus on all the school subjects or they should only study their favourite subject. In my opinion, I believe that they should study all the subjects with equal attention. On one hand, there are some set of peoples who believe that it is beneficial for the teenager to devote time on the subjects of their liking. Firstly, by focusing their attention on a handful of subjects, students can gain proficiency in their field. Thus, they gain expertise in their domain and become an expert. For example, a student good in programming language should choose the software field to climb the ladder of success rather than choosing other fields. Secondly, the learning efficiency of the student should also enhance as their stress level will be eliminated because of less burden of extra subjects. Hence, it is advantageous for the youngsters to concentrate on the subjects they are most interested. On the other hand, some folks believe that students should concentrate on all the subjects instead of focusing on their favourite subjects. Nowadays, due to bottle neck competition most of the companies hire multi-talented people. Studying varieties of subjects will open numerous gateways of opportunities for the students. Consequently, they become jack of all trades. For instance, a person well versed in mathematics and English can easily grab the position of teacher in either subject. Additionally, learning all the subject will help the teenagers to broaden their horizons of knowledge which results in their holistic development. Therefore, students should give attention to all the subjects. In conclusion, although it is beneficial for the students to concentrate on their favourite subjects, focusing on all the subjects will bless them will multiple skills for their overall development.
It has become a debatable topic that whether
teenager
should focus on all the school
subjects or
they should
only
study their
favourite
subject
. In my opinion, I believe that they should study all the
subjects
with equal attention.

On one hand, there are
some
set of peoples who believe that it is beneficial for the
teenager
to devote time on the
subjects
of their liking.
Firstly
, by focusing their attention on a handful of
subjects
,
students
can gain proficiency in their field.
Thus
, they gain expertise in their domain and become an expert.
For example
, a
student
good in programming
language should choose the software field to climb the ladder of success
rather
than choosing other fields.
Secondly
, the learning efficiency of the
student
should
also
enhance as their
stress
level will
be eliminated
because
of less burden of extra
subjects
.
Hence
, it is advantageous for the youngsters to concentrate on the
subjects
they are most interested.

On the other hand
,
some
folks believe that
students
should concentrate on all the
subjects
instead
of focusing on their
favourite
subjects
. Nowadays, due to
bottle neck
competition most of the
companies
hire multi-talented
people
. Studying varieties of
subjects
will open numerous gateways of opportunities for the
students
.
Consequently
, they become jack of all trades.
For instance
, a person well versed in mathematics and English can
easily
grab the position of teacher in either
subject
.
Additionally
, learning all the
subject
will
help
the
teenagers
to broaden their horizons of knowledge which results in their holistic development.
Therefore
,
students
should give attention to all the subjects.

In conclusion
, although it is beneficial for the
students
to concentrate on their
favourite
subjects
, focusing on all the
subjects
will bless them will multiple
skills
for their
overall
development.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are most interested. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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