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The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. v. 5
Crime is unquestionably one of the most prevailing issues in most countries. Some people claim that the downward trend of crime rate in recent times is owing to the technology development, whereas others stand with an opposite opinion. In this essay, both viewpoints will be thoroughly discussed in the following paragraphs. Broadly speaking, there are two prime reasons why technology could play the role of offence prevention and solution. The first reason is that it could exert a deterrent effect on some potential lawbreakers. Take the security camera, a product of technological advancement, for example. With the universal security camera in public area, the movement of citizens would be under record and monitor. If the criminals are aware of being monitored, they maybe would think twice before conducting the misdeeds. On the other hand, from the perspectives of crime solution, the surveillance camera performs a vital function to track the offenders and provide the important data about the offences. In spite of this, the other reasons such as raising crime awareness and ever-increasing living standard to deter illegal acts could not be obscured. To begin with, the access to education is easily to the public compared to the past. That is mean that people could equip the ability to distinguish right from wrong, preventing them from leading astray. Moreover, some experts assert that social problems are deeply connected with the socio-economically underprivileged, who are more likely to commit crimes. While with the economic globalization, people nowadays live higher standard life and further alleviate the incentives of carrying out problem. My conclusion is that there are mixed results contributing to this trend. On the one hand, it can be no denying that technology do assist to crack down the crime, but the raising crime awareness and increasing living standard also facilitate this phenomenon.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is
unquestionably
one of the most prevailing issues in most countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the downward trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in recent times is owing to the technology development, whereas others stand with an opposite opinion. In this essay, both viewpoints will be
thoroughly
discussed in the following paragraphs.

Broadly
speaking, there are two prime reasons why technology could play the role of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
prevention and solution. The
first
reason is that it could exert a deterrent effect on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential lawbreakers. Take the security camera, a product of technological advancement,
for example
. With the universal security camera in public area, the movement of citizens would be under record and monitor. If the criminals are aware of
being monitored
, they maybe would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
conducting the misdeeds.
On the other hand
, from the perspectives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
solution, the surveillance camera performs a vital function to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
the offenders and provide the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data about the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, the other reasons such as raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
awareness and ever-increasing living standard to deter illegal acts could not
be obscured
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the access to education is
easily
to the public compared to the past.
That is
mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could equip the ability to distinguish right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, preventing them from leading astray.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts assert that social problems are
deeply
connected with the socio-
economically
underprivileged, who are more likely to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. While with the economic globalization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
higher standard life and
further
alleviate the incentives of carrying out problem.

My conclusion is that there
are mixed
results contributing to this trend. On the one hand, it can be no denying that technology do assist to crack down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
awareness and increasing living standard
also
facilitate this phenomenon.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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