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there is an ongoing survey regarding change of school lunch from hotdogs, pizza to salad and vegetables.

there is an ongoing survey regarding change of school lunch from hotdogs, pizza to salad and vegetables. YLwJQ
In response to my opinion on this survey about the food served in Karryfield school. I prefer that the current lunch menu is changed from junk food to salad and vegetables daily because of the obvious benefits of these meals. I will discuss two reasons why I support Option B. To begin with, it is necessary to inculcate a healthy eating habits in our offspring at a young age to ensure that when they become adults, they can make healthy meal choices. The option of eating fast food for lunch daily will make it difficult for kids to learn this important skill. Another reason to consider is that, the healthy choice of salad and vegetables contains all necessary nutritional values children need to grow both physically and mentally, while junk meals such as pizza and hotdog consist of cholesterol and fats. It has been proven to be detrimental to health because constant intake of such meals could result to obesity and other health related ailments. To sum up, I think the option B is a better choice because it takes care of the overall wellbeing of children
In response to my opinion on this survey about the food served in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karryfield
school. I prefer that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lunch menu is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from junk food to salad and vegetables daily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the obvious benefits of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
. I will discuss two reasons why I support Option B.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is necessary to inculcate a healthy eating
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "habit"?
habits
in our offspring at a young age to ensure that when they become adults, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
choices. The option of eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food for lunch daily will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for kids to learn this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Another reason to consider is that, the healthy choice of salad and vegetables contains all necessary nutritional values children need to grow both
physically
and mentally, while junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
such as pizza and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hotdog
consist of cholesterol and fats. It has
been proven
to be detrimental to health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
constant intake of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
could result to obesity and other health related ailments.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the option B is a better choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it takes care of the
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of children
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IELTS essay there is an ongoing survey regarding change of school lunch from hotdogs, pizza to salad and vegetables.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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