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There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family? v.12

There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family? v. 12
In the past, a family used to consist of more than five members. Nowadays, however, a growing number of people opt to raise a relatively small family instead of a big family. I will examine the merits and demerits of having a small family. On the one hand, the idea of having a small family sounds more appealing to some people due to several underlying reasons. Firstly, it is undeniable that it takes a great amount of money to raise and look after a kid. With that in mind, some couples decide to only have fewer kids as it would significantly reduce the financial burdens of a household. Secondly, taking care of a single kid, parents can give their unparalleled attention, which thus allows them to fully observe their kid’s growth. In fact, they can even facilitate their kid’s linguistic and motoric development. This parenting style can barely occur in a family that raises more than two kids. On the other hand, having a small family can pose a few challenges. To begin with, having a large family enables kids to benefit from social interaction with their siblings whereas a kid raised in a small family may occasionally feel slightly isolated. Therefore, this could possibly hamper their social development. Furthermore, if this trend continues, there is a high possibility that the number of deaths will outweigh that of births, in which case it can consequently lead to the extinction of human species. While the chance of this happening is slim to none, the potential impact of this should never be overlooked. To sum up, having considered both sides, I am firmly convinced that the benefits of having a small family outweigh the potential drawbacks associated with it. Having a small family ensures that parents can worry less about their financial circumstances and they can actively get involved in their kid’s holistic development.
In the past, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to consist of more than five members. Nowadays,
however
, a growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to raise a
relatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. I will examine the merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
family.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
sounds more appealing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to several underlying reasons.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that it takes a great amount of money to raise and look after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
. With that in mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
couples decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
as it would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial burdens of a household.
Secondly
, taking care of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
, parents can give their unparalleled attention, which
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
fully
observe their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
growth. In fact, they can even facilitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
linguistic and
Possible spelling mistake found.
motoric
development. This parenting style can
barely
occur in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that raises more than two kids.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can pose a few challenges. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to benefit from social interaction with their siblings whereas a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
raised in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may
occasionally
feel
slightly
isolated.
Therefore
, this could
possibly
hamper their social development.
Furthermore
, if this trend continues, there is a high possibility that the number of deaths will outweigh that of births, in which case it can
consequently
lead to the extinction of human species. While the chance of this happening is slim to none, the potential impact of this should never
be overlooked
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
considered both sides, I am
firmly
convinced that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
outweigh the potential drawbacks associated with it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ensures that parents can worry less about their financial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
circumstances and
they can
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
holistic development.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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