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There is an increasing number of anti-social behaviours in recent years; people generally believe that society is to blame. What do you think the causes are and who is responsible for this?

There is an increasing number of anti-social behaviours in recent years; people generally believe that society is to blame. What do you think the causes are and who is responsible for this? Kw3GL
Nature of behaving disorderly by human beings has been increasing immensely. whereas, some people blame the society for the lawless behaviour of individuals. In this writting, i will put forward some causes as well as practical soulutions to this issue. Firstly, government must have to treat every person equally, whoever, breaks the law because sometimes officers on high positions or government servants does illegal activites but never get caught as well as do not pay any penalities. There are inequalities existing in country's legal system. Secondly, high rate of unemployment is the main cause of crime. people commit illegal activites to earn money especially when they are capable to get reputated job but get replaced with someone who have high contacts with company or a good reference There are some solutions to tackle this situation. To start with, family plays an imperative role in everyones life. Having a good relations with family members as well as less voilent situtaions in family gives so much of releif or good mindsets to tackle the problems of outside world. Moreover, government should impose stringent rules to all law offenders equally, especially, increase employment opportunities for young people so that they will not choose wrong paths to earn money. In conclution, people behave disorderly due to unemployment and corruption legal system which can only be solved by applying penalities equally as well as by proding jobs jobs to educated people
Nature of behaving disorderly by human beings has been increasing
immensely
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
blame the society for the lawless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of individuals. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
writting
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as practical
Possible spelling mistake found.
soulutions
to this issue.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
treat every person
equally
, whoever, breaks the law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
officers on high positions or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
servants does illegal
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as do not pay any
Possible spelling mistake found.
penalities
. There are inequalities existing in country's legal system.

Secondly
, high rate of unemployment is the main cause of crime.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
commit illegal
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
to earn money
especially
when they are capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
reputated
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
replaced with someone who have high contacts with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reference


There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to tackle this situation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, family plays an imperative role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyones
life. Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "relation"?
relations
with family members as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as less
Possible spelling mistake found.
voilent
Possible spelling mistake found.
situtaions
in family gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of
Possible spelling mistake found.
releif
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mindsets to tackle the problems of outside world.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to all law offenders
equally
,
especially
, increase employment opportunities for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
paths to earn money.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclution
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave disorderly due to unemployment and corruption legal system which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be solved
by applying
Possible spelling mistake found.
penalities
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as by
Possible spelling mistake found.
proding
Possible typo: you repeated a word
jobs jobs
to educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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IELTS essay There is an increasing number of anti-social behaviours in recent years; people generally believe that society is to blame. What do you think the causes are and who is responsible for this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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