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There is an increasing amount of noise in our daily lives today. why is this a problem? what can be done about it?

There is an increasing amount of noise in our daily lives today. why is this a problem? what can be done about it? n628g
There is much noise that covers our surrounding. These days, we hear a lot of cacophony that can bother us. We think, governments by cooperation of people should control the trouble. In this essay, problems and solutions of making extra noise, will be discussed. Extra explosion can create many problems. Human activities cause these noises. And also, factories are built close to homes and governments do not pay attention to the car productions. Because of this, many sounds will be created. To illustrate, a research has shown that many people move to the villages or suburbs every year, because they are bothered by a cry. We think, this trouble should be solved and controlled by all people and governments. On the other hand, this happening can have some solutions. We should use public transportation and when we use private cars, adoption horns as less as possible. And also, factories should build further from homes. In addition, governments should control the rate of car producing. For example, in many countries, states have some plans and make sign to aware all people to make less noise. In my opinion, states can really help to compensate the disadvantages and play an important in people’s life. In conclusion, the sound around us. Which is rising leads to people become harassed, in my opinion, we should help to states to solve this problem and we should use public transportation in order to produce less pollution and roar. These methods can be really important to solve the mentioned problem.
There is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
that covers our surrounding. These days, we hear
Possible agreement error. The noun cacophony seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of cacophonies".
a lot of cacophony
that can bother us. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
by cooperation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should control the trouble. In this essay,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and solutions of making extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, will
be discussed
.

Extra explosion can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Human activities cause these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noises
. And
also
, factories
are built
close to homes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not pay attention to the car productions.
Because of this
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sounds will
be created
. To illustrate,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
has shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the villages or suburbs every year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are bothered
by a cry. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, this trouble should
be solved
and controlled by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

On the other hand
, this happening can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation and when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private cars, adoption horns as
Did you mean "less", "little"?
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
possible. And
also
, factories should build
further
from homes.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should control the rate of car producing.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, states have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plans and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
to aware all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. In my opinion, states can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to compensate the disadvantages and play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.

In conclusion
,
Consider using "the surrounding sound".
the sound around us
. Which is rising leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become harassed, in my opinion, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "state".
states
to solve this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problem and
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation in order to produce less pollution and roar. These methods can be
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to solve the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay There is an increasing amount of noise in our daily lives today. why is this a problem? what can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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