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There is a big gap between the rich and the poor. Some people belive it is an issue of culture. Do you agree or disagree ?

There is a big gap between the rich and the poor. Some people belive it is an issue of culture. yxkkP
In society, there hashave always been a divide between the rich and the poor. This is largely rooted in culture. It is true that culture is the cause of the gap between the rich and the poor, but is it not entirely. There are many reasons that lead to the distinction between rich and poor. The second most common cause is educatingeducate the masses. Education is always plays an important role in every aspect. No one taught themtheir how much theythe desire for material possession. So that people have ability to make money then they are regardless in order to have affluence in life. This is the result of various happenings such as childchil abuse, smuggling, selling banned substances, etc. . . . However, besides the social evil, wealthwealthy brings us culturalcutural value, more specifically, it is a good life. If you live on the Earth, you want to have a good life. You live a reasonable lifestyle, old people want to be treated with respect and young people want opportunities to learn, work and have families. Community groups and non- profit organizations are created to help the poor. Not only that, the poor also get help from the rich. All these actions bring good culture and the discrimination does notisn’t exist.
In society, there
hashave
always been
a divide between the
rich
and the
poor
. This is
largely
rooted in culture. It is true that culture is the cause of the gap between the
rich
and the
poor
,
but
is it not
entirely
. There are
many
reasons that lead to the distinction between
rich
and
poor
. The second most common cause is
educatingeducate
the masses. Education is always plays an
important
role in every aspect. No one taught
themtheir
how much
theythe
desire for material possession.
So that
people
have ability to
make
money then they are regardless in order to have affluence in life. This is the result of various happenings such as
childchil
abuse, smuggling, selling banned substances, etc.
.
.
.
However
,
besides
the social evil,
wealthwealthy
brings us
culturalcutural
value, more
specifically
, it is a
good
life. If you
live
on the Earth, you want to have a
good
life. You
live
a reasonable lifestyle,
old
people
want to
be treated
with respect and young
people
want opportunities to learn, work and have families. Community groups and non- profit organizations
are created
to
help
the
poor
. Not
only
that, the
poor
also
get
help
from the
rich
. All these actions bring
good
culture and the discrimination does
notisn
’t exist.
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IELTS essay There is a big gap between the rich and the poor. Some people belive it is an issue of culture.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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