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There have been many advances in technology over the past fifty years. These have revolutionised the way we communicate with people who are far away. Compare and contrast methods of communication used today with those which were used in the past.

There have been many advances in technology over the past fifty years. These have revolutionised the way we communicate with people who are far away. Compare and contrast methods of communication used today with those which were used in the past. QLX0w
Technology advancements have improved the lives of every individual from a child to an adult. These have entirely changed the way of communication. There is a huge disparity between methods of communication used today with those which were used in the past. To begin with, earlier people had less modes to communicate. Moreover, these modes were not much efficient. For instance, one of methods was through a letter which approximately took a month to reach it’s destination. However in those times people were much closer to each other even if they lived miles apart as they would eagerly wait for the letters from their friends and family. On the other hand, with the technological developments it has become much easier to communicate. Using smart phones or through Internet one can convey his message at any time and from any place. To exemplify mobile applications like WhatsApp or FaceTime allow people to communicate with audio and video. Although, new communication methods have brought the people closer but it have increased the difference between the ones who live in the same house. For example a study conducted by time magazine shown that children have less cordial relation with their parents because of less communication as they prefer using their phones in free time. To conclude, few decades back there was lack of communication methods but strong relations, today every person have easy access to communication yet no individual is willing to communicate.
Technology advancements have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of every individual from a child to an adult. These have
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. There is a huge disparity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with those which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the past.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun modes is countable.
less
modes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
.
Moreover
, these modes were not much efficient.
For instance
, one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
was through a letter which approximately took a month
Did you mean "to reach its destination"?
to reach it’s destination
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in those times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were much closer to each other even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
miles apart as they would
eagerly
wait for the letters from their friends and family.

On the other hand
, with the technological developments it has become much easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
. Using smart phones or through Internet one can convey his message at any time and from any place. To exemplify mobile applications like WhatsApp or FaceTime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with audio and video. Although, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
have brought the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "has"?
have
increased the difference between the ones who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
For example
a study conducted by time magazine shown that children have less cordial relation with their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
as they prefer using their phones in free time.

To conclude
, few decades back there was lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
strong relations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
every person have easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
yet
no individual is willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
.
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IELTS essay There have been many advances in technology over the past fifty years. These have revolutionised the way we communicate with people who are far away. Compare and contrast methods of communication used today with those which were used in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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